


Until the Sun Burns Down

by bellemelody



Category: Johnny's Entertainment, KAT-TUN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Vampire, Community: kizuna_exchange, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-30
Updated: 2012-04-30
Packaged: 2017-11-04 13:40:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 23,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/394508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bellemelody/pseuds/bellemelody
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This fic is inspired by the Anne Rice novel  <b>Interview with the Vampire</b> and its film adaptation.</p><p><b>Summary:</b> Days, months, years, centuries of longing and searching for answers he isn't even sure he could find... yet he continues in this path, haunted by his past, because Jin is condemned to live with those feelings, until the sun burns down...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was written for Nory and I was very happy to write for her <3 <3 Just so many thanks to all my friends for dealing with my panic attacks, for helping me so much with words, with support!!
> 
> Thanks to Deshi!! For her wonderful fanarts, that inspired me to write this fic <3 <3 
> 
> Thanks to Kari for just EVERYTHING!!!! THIS FIC EXISTS AND THANK YOU FOR IT!! Thanks for Lori and her friend for helping me when I need it so much <3 <3 
> 
> Thanks to Lulu, Gina, Solo, Saya for telling me that this is not stupid and just THANK YOU!!!

_Paris, 2000_

Kazuya hated museums and despised art, but Jin had always thought this was rather strange.

  
The Louvre was deserted at this time and only the sound of steps echoed through the long halls of the palace that had belonged to the kings long ago.

  
Kazuya hated when his victims called him _beautiful_ , touching with enchantment the smooth skin of his perfect face. His brilliant blue eyes always shined with indignation at hearing this word and then he took their lives without playing, not really enjoying the hunt anymore.

  
Jin had always thought it was strange because Kazuya loved to gently caress Jin’s cheek, kiss his neck with his cold lips, and whisper softly into his ear how _beautiful_ Jin was.

  
He looked again at the colorful prospect in his hands. He was close already. His eyes briefly landed on the enigmatic smile of _Giaconda_ , leaving him absolutely indifferent. Another room, and he reached his destination; the painting, the one he was searching for, was hanging on the wall. Near it, the dim light of a lamp was the only source of illumination. But Jin didn’t need it at all; his brilliant green eyes could perfectly see every detail of this painting created by the brush of a very famous painter from the 17th century.

  
Jin knew this was all _a lie_. The little numbers were lost in the different strains of the colorful kimono that embraced the figure of a dancer exposing his pale shoulder. His face was hidden under long strands of hair. One hand was thrown back graciously, as if the young man had been depicted while dancing.

  
 _1582_

__  
The numbers. Jin touched the pale shoulder but could only feel the canvas and the paint. Yet, his mind was soon filled with memories of sensations he thought he had forgotten: the touch of the smooth, marble-like skin, so tempting and alluring, the whispers in the night, and the last gaze of the person he had _betrayed_.

  
Kazuya hated paintings as well as his own reflection, so how could someone capture every second of his dance in different paintings, each dating from different years and centuries? Jin had to find the one who did it and demand answers to all the questions that were eating him alive.

  
A disgusting cold feeling spread inside of him. This had been Jin’s enigma for the last centuries, the enigma he still couldn’t understand at all.

  
 _Kazuya_ was his enigma.

  
*

  
The dark narrow streets with dim lights hide the lonely figure from the eyes of passerby, his footsteps producing a dull echo. The leather gloves tightly embrace his long fingers, hiding his smooth, too pale skin. A fedora hides his eyes and a long dark overcoat completes the mysterious aura of this man.

  
He arrives at a magnificent bridge, in this empty hour, only a few cars rushing by, showering him with the blinding lights of their headlights. This bridge looks almost the same as the first time he had been there, only now the artificial lighting is too bright. The little faces of cherubs and nymphs that decorate the bridge are looking mockingly at him, but Jin knows this is just his imagination. They were made of stone centuries ago, and they have no soul. They’re just empty shells.

  
 _What an irony_ , he thinks and a bitter smile appears on his full lips. What is the difference between him and these sculptures then?

  
The green eyes throw a quick look around at the deserted bridge. Paris looks alive with all the colorful lights of a night city, the Eiffel Tower hovering like an ugly caricature over the middle of the beautiful city. But it's not what Jin is longing for, what he is searching for, what led him here.

  
He has been wandering around the world, because of this question sinking into his chest like a sharp knife, making him feel pain, an endless torturous and killing pain. But the awaiting death just never comes.  
He is alone. He’s been alone for the last years, always, searching for answers and trying to understand why he’s _alive_.

  
The pale moon has no answers, neither does his heart. He can only hear silence, the suffocating silence that echoes in the emptiness of his heart.

  
His life had been empty even before and that isn’t Kazuya’s fault. Maybe he himself is the one to blame and no one else. It’s always easier to place all the guilt on someone else’s shoulders and try to escape by using high words as a shield, while inside, cowardice is eating you alive.

  
He stands on the edge of the bridge, feeling that only one step separates him from falling. Does he even have anything to regret, to miss, to feel sorry for?

  
Jin looks at the dark river under his feet, so deep and so inviting, just one step, only one step. But it can’t give him the desired deliverance from his existence. The memories appear before his eyes. This place, this bridge and Kazuya with his glossy eyes shining under the moonlight, his red lips curved into a smirk, playing, provoking and knowing what kind of power he has, and his voice slipping under the skin and making you lose all will, leaving only a spreading desire to succumb to the pleasure, to follow the steps into the insanity that burns in his brilliant blue eyes.

  
 _“This world belongs to us, Jin! Can you feel it?”_

__  
When was it? 50 years ago? A century ago? Or maybe even longer? Jin has been alone for so long he has stopped counting.

  
"Why Kazuya? Why have you condemned me to this life?" he whispers in the silence. A sudden rush of the wind and the dark fedora falls from his head, freeing his long black hair to frame the smooth, white, marble skin of his face and his brilliant green eyes. Too bright, too wild.

  
 _Inhuman._

__  
*

  
 _Kyoto, 1852_

__  
The big house of a respected family full of goods and traditions, where the son must follow his father’s footsteps and become the grateful worthy heir who will increase the honor and the profits of the family.

  
But the only surviving son of this family was a good-for-nothing idler and his head was always full of strange ideas. This ungrateful disrespectful son dared to mock the philosophy and the morality of people who were ready to give their lives for the things they had believed in. Their names were engraved in the memory of every person who, thanks to these heroes, was now living a happy life. The son, who was the last hope and last comfort of the family that was dying inside, had no interest in the family’s business and didn’t even want to learn anything.  
“This is absolutely unacceptable; we have to live and to cherish every moment of life. If he was ready to disembowel himself for the sake of ridiculous and high words, he was just a coward and had no courage to live and deal with it!”  
Impudent, bold, insulting words ran from his mouth before he could understand what he had said, but even after he realized, _he knew_ that there was nothing to regret. This was _his_ truth. A hard slap in the face made his head jerk and he felt the disgusting taste of blood on the tip of his tongue. He could still feel the coldness of the heavy rings circling his mother’s slender fingers.

  
Jin and his mother looked at the world _differently_ and they couldn’t find any compromise; they just hurt each other more and more with every new conversation, which always ended the same way. Jin hated it, her hypocritical façade, her stupid exaggerated philosophy that asked to give up everything, and the sanctimony of her smile. His family wanted him to learn the wisdom of his ancestors but Jin refused to follow in the footsteps of his brother who had killed himself for the sake of some high purpose, leaving him _alone_ with a new responsibility and an emptiness that was tearing him apart.

  
Jin’s face was burning from his mother’s slap, but he showed her his defiance looking straight into her disappointed eyes filled with hatred. He couldn’t accept his mother’s reality, not in this life nor in another, no matter who he would be reborn as then.

  
Jin spent days wandering the crowded streets of Kyoto without any purpose and without any goal. He wasn’t searching for anything and he doubted anyone was searching for him. The life that was waiting for him made him feel sick inside, the already familiar feeling of apathy spreading with the understanding that he couldn’t change anything, his beliefs, the society, where he was born, who he was. He couldn’t revive his brother or his father who had also left this world. He had no strength and no idea what he believed in anymore. He felt lost in ideas that were too complicated with smart and deep meaning words he couldn’t really grasp and understand. It was suffocating. The contradiction between this society and his inner state pushed him to the edge of losing himself.

  
Jin had no philosophy; he didn’t need a philosophy to crave death. Even with the beauty of the world around him, the ancient architecture and the soft petals falling on his face, he couldn’t feel anything. The big house and the money and power he had in his hands now, he didn’t know what to do with them.

  
The playful lights of _Shimabara_ invited him and his legs obediently went to a place where the dull emptiness inside his chest almost disappeared. The strong taste of alcohol burned his throat. Jin thought that his brother could just escape and Jin would never judge him, _ever_.

  
No matter how much he drank, the feelings still boiled inside of him. The faces around him were ugly, reminding him of his father’s face. Jin knew that he didn’t have any desire to live, to become like his father and obey the hypocritical false truths, to have a child who would lead the same life and almost be buried alive so young, just because it was the _right_ thing to do.

  
The pliant body so close, the silk of her clothes and the aroma of the incense made him look around in a haze through the shroud. His head was too heavy. Her hands were touching his neck and helping their clothes to fall, but he felt nauseous because of the strong and sickly sweet smell that should have the purpose to help him relax.

  
Jin escaped from her hands, from the unbearable stuffiness of this place, running and running without any way to find salvation, only plunging more deeply into the abyss of despair, locking himself into a cage that he created but couldn’t find the way out of anymore.

  
He was only 23 and was already tired of living, of the pressure, the responsibility, and the faint-heartedness. Jin longed for death, invited it. But he couldn’t finish it himself and so he welcomed the one who would help him obtain the end of the hell inside his mind and heart.

  
Death appeared, already waiting for him, with a dirty face and decayed teeth. It came as a man in rags, stabbing him and taking his money because Jin was rich and because people without any moral restrictions existed.

  
 _This is an irony_ , was the last thought in Jin’s head, as he felt his life power leaving his tired body and suffering soul. This man wouldn’t give his life for any high purpose. Maybe he was like Jin?

  
Jin felt like he was falling and welcomed it, but the next moment, he felt somebody catch him and then, like the sky was so near. And maybe he was _flying_. Jin opened his eyes and was met with a brilliant blue gaze, and then came the pain. He was still in the air, so light, but panic rose inside of him. This was something _wrong_.

  
“Do you want to die?” The low voice came in a hot whisper. Jin tried to focus on the man who was speaking, but was too weak.

  
He was too _young_ to die. The sharp pain on his neck burned. In that moment, all Jin could feel was horror, the disgusting horror that he would die. He was _scared_. What was waiting for him there? _Darkness_. No, he was not ready. The animalistic fear and the newly raised desire to live grew in him.

  
“No,” answered Jin and he knew that was the truth. He didn’t want to die, not yet. Maybe in his meaningless existence he would find answers. The horrible fear of darkness made him repeat, “No.”  
Jin was too weak to die. He was afraid of darkness. But little did he know that soon, he would be born again to wander for eternity in _darkness_.

  
*

  
When Jin opened his eyes, he was in the street lying in dirt, feeling numb and painfully alive. He stood on his wobbly feet and returned to his home, the empty home that his mother had left, because Jin was a shame. Jin was the worst son and she had lost hope and faith in him. He lay waiting for death to come, feeling the pain and the fever, day after day. Before, it was just a nagging feeling in his chest, the melancholy, but now, it was real pain. Because of the man with blue eyes and the wounds that he had left on his neck, Jin felt like he had lost his vitality. He was ruined more and more inside with every passing minute, just waiting for the last moment and the last breath to escape from his dry lips. The bright radiance of the blues eyes seemed like a hallucination from his alcohol-polluted mind. The newly added pain to his already hurting state was unbearable and tearing him apart.

  
He heard a rustling sound, sensing a presence of someone else in his room.

  
“Who is here?” His voice sounded hoarse and his throat was dry. He wanted to ask for water, but was met with the same blue eyes that haunted him in his dreams, that looked too bright at his pale face, that were _calling_ for him.

  
“I came to make your wish come true. Life has no meaning anymore, _does it_?” Those eyes were hypnotizing. The voice sounded so soothing, wrapping Jin in something warm. The stranger took a step towards him, moving in smooth motions.

  
“Food has no taste and alcohol doesn’t let you to find oblivion. There’s no reason for any of it?” The eyes were fixated on his and he couldn’t take his gaze away from the smooth skin without any wrinkle and the two brilliant blue eyes, which were so deep that he felt like he was drowning.

  
“What if I can give it to you? No more pain and another life that you have never imagined? It would be for all time and neither sickness nor death will ever touch you again,” the stranger continued, coming closer, his white face was just few inches away. The face was like a mask, without any tiny hint of human expression, absolutely emotionless.

  
“I’m going to give you the choice I never had.”

  
The words were spinning around, tempting, but Jin was too weak and exhausted from the pain, from his life. He wasn’t even sure what was going on, what exactly the stranger was talking about, but he wanted the pain to go away, he wanted something to change in his life, he wanted this unbearable despair that came with the understanding of how useless his existence was to just disappear. Jin had nothing to lose.

  
“You can die here as you want or always be young.” The words were like a spell caressing Jin’s ears and making him plunge into the mysterious web the stranger wrapped around his suffering heart and ill mind.

  
Too tired of his pointless life, Jin said yes to Kazuya’s propositions. He said yes to something that became worse than darkness for him.

  
*

  
Jin remembered his last sunset very well. He had seen so many sunrises and sunsets before, but the only one that was engraved in his memory was his last one. The sky was painted with wonderful stains, so painfully beautiful that he couldn’t take his eyes away from them. Everything seemed so unreal, colored by the warm hues.

  
“Have you bid your goodbye to the light?” He heard the soothing voice so close, caressing his ears so nicely. But the next second, Kazuya bit him. Jin had no idea what to expect so when he felt the strong hands holding him firmly and not letting him move, he was terrified. The pain struck and he lost all his strength. He was struggling, trying to free himself, to hit, but found no power even to move. He didn’t even notice when the sharp fangs left his flesh.

  
“I’ve drunk you to the point of death. If I leave you here, you will die. Or you can be young, forever, as we are now.”

  
Kazuya embraced him, Jin’s head on his chest. Jin tried to open his mouth and say something, but he found it impossible. He felt the cold fingers touching his cheek. He could only look motionlessly at Kazuya’s actions, how he bit his own wrist letting drops blood fall on Jin’s clothes and then, on his chin. He felt the taste on the tip of his tongue and Kazuya let him drink. Kazuya’s voice led him, telling him to be patient, to slow down, but Jin couldn’t control himself. He could hear the enormous drums in his ears. His only desire was to have more of this blood, yet this pain was still here. He felt betrayed. Why hadn’t the pain disappeared even a bit?

  
As Kazuya forced him to let go of his hand, he understood that the loud drums were the sound of Kazuya’s heartbeats mixed with his own, the sound of blood rushing through his veins. When the pain deafened him, it was worse than anything he had ever felt. He tried to squeeze his temples, to suppress the ache, but it was impossible. It was indescribable. He was tearing apart.

  
“You are dying.” He heard the voice and felt the cold fingers caress his forehead. “It happens to all of us.”

  
When Jin opened his eyes after few minutes, the pain was gone and the world was different, yet the same.

  
“Now, look with your vampire’s eyes.” Kazuya’s voice sounded breathless but amused. Jin looked around and found the brilliant blue eyes looking at him. It was different. Kazuya’s skin was so pale and smooth, even radiant and Jin couldn’t take his eyes away from the dark lips. He could see new colors, new details. Before, Kazuya looked so inhuman to Jin, so overwhelming. It was only now through vampire’s eyes that he could understand the beauty and perfection of the dark creature standing in front of him and how luscious red and inviting his lips really were. Kazuya’s mouth curved into a smile.

  
“Stop looking at my lips, you fool. Look around at the beauty of the night. But be careful; don’t fall in love with it.”

  
Jin took a step and raised his head to look at the sky. Now he understood what Kazuya meant. He spent hours spellbound, lost in the colors and sounds.

  
When he returned to his empty home, Kazuya was waiting for him. Jin couldn’t fight the desire to touch his skin, to understand how it felt, so beautiful, so tempting. Jin remembered the taste on the tip of his tongue. Kazuya took his hand and led him to the room that used to belong to his brother, a room that no one had entered for so long. Two coffins were resting in the middle, yet it didn’t even cross Jin’s mind to ask himself how they had appeared there.

  
“Don’t worry, you need to sleep. When you wake, I will be waiting for you and so will the whole world.”

  
Kazuya placed a kiss on his forehead and Jin lost himself in sleep.

  
The next evening, Jin woke with a hunger he had never felt before.

  
*

  
Kazuya was a perfect teacher who explained everything with passion, using visual teaching methods.

  
Always playing with his prey, elegantly, he liked making the oblivious victim fall into his perfect trap with her own steps. He enjoyed playing the game by the rules that only he knew. The victim was happy to fall into his hands, waiting for his skillful fangs to find her neck and trail his finger over her pulsating veins.

  
With his first victim, Jin felt horrified. But the sight of the Kazuya’s lips trailing slowly over the girl’s milky skin and the blue brilliant eyes looking daringly and invitingly at him encouraged Jin to take the next step.  
Jin felt his strength growing with every drop of her blood rushing into his veins. The familiar drums in his head mixed with the melody of the girl’s heartbeat, fast in the beginning and then slower with every second. At the same time, he felt how fast her light of life diminished, how her heart skipped a beat, then stopped, forever. Jin felt like drowning, falling into weightlessness.

  
“I don’t want to take her life,” he said with force, trying to let go and not drink the last drop. But the cold blue eyes met his gaze and philosophical voice stated, “She is dead already, you fool. You can’t drink when they are dead. You must stop or you will succumb to death, too.”

  
The feeling spread inside his guts, an awful, cold and dreadful feeling that he couldn’t bear. He took someone else’s _life_. And he could feel it, her life and her death, everything. Even the sweet delicious taste couldn’t cover what he did with his own hands. He threw a brief look at Kazuya. Jin couldn’t control his hunger. He looked at Kazuya’s hand preparing to bite again, when Kazuya slapped him across his face. Jin looked astonished. He was shocked.

  
It was Kazuya’s fault. His perfect teacher forgot to warn him about a guilty conscience. Maybe because Kazuya had no conscience at all.

  
“You don’t have to feel sorry for them,” he said to Jin later while looking over his accounts and blabbering that Jin was so rich, but absolutely useless and couldn’t take care about their prosperous living. Kazuya’s ability to talk about taking a human’s life during such routine moments, or while choosing new and expensive clothes for himself, was unbelievable. His face had a bored expression while Jin still had the picture of the girl’s brown eyes, becoming like glass, losing all their life.

  
“You’ll get used to killing,” said Kazuya, kissing his neck. When he told Jin that he must be strong, not bother so much, and that with time, he would get used to taking lives, Jin grew silent, just nodding. He doubted he would ever get used to killing and he couldn’t understand Kazuya’s imperturbability and the total absence of respect and reverence towards the process of taking someone’s life, nor could he comprehend the feelings that were boiling inside of him: the enormous drum, the melody in Jin’s ears, the experience of taking someone else’s life, all together making his blood rush in his veins, making him feel and see the life of this person like magic. It was absolutely fascinating.

  
Jin also couldn’t control the overwhelming feeling that took over his whole body when Kazuya was near. The heartless vampire played, enjoying every moment and Jin sometimes felt the desire to strangle him and drink every single drop of his blood, sticking his fangs into the smooth white neck, feeling it again. It drove him insane, Kazuya’s closeness. There was nothing special in Kazuya, Jin repeated to himself every time he saw this intriguing monster. He knew that behind the façade, he was only an empty shell only looking for blood.

  
But Kazuya had a power over Jin, the knowledge about vampires without which Jin would die the next day, like how the sun, could burn him in seconds or the things that were famous in legends and superstitions but actually had no powers at all. Kazuya was a manipulator, toying with Jin, giving just enough information to render Jin silent but still hiding the biggest part.

  
“I’m sure you are not the only vampire on the Earth,” Jin told Kazuya. “Someone created you, and I will find them.”

  
Kazuya laughed aloud, kissing Jin’s lips before whispering into his ear, biting his earlobe slightly, “Without me, you can’t last for long. Just admit it, you need me.”

  
Jin felt the blood rushing in his ears, feeling again the power of the brilliant blue eyes on him.

  
“He would like you, because you are beautiful, Jin. You are fool, but a precious one.”

  
Jin hated Kazuya.

  
*

  
 _London, 1956_

__  
Jin looked at the magazine in his hands. The last article was the main reason why he found himself in the National Gallery at this hour, when not a single soul would interrupt his research and see him. It was dark in the gallery, but Jin had no need for any light. He could see every single corner and every detail of the paintings on the walls perfectly fine.

  
Jin found modern art boring and sometimes, too difficult to understand. Yet he spent the last years wandering and searching for paintings, although he had no idea where and when he would find the next key to the riddle he had been trying to solve. That last article was like a gift from God. Or better said, from the _Devil_.

  
Kazuya’s loud laugh echoed in his ears and the words: _“The Devil!? Oh, Jin! I’d chase him and cut his horns, so now I’m your devil, Jin! Will you worship me?”_

 __  
Jin’s steps were unheard and his motions unseen by other people, the speed of vampires’ steps being like the blink of a human’s eyes. Jin had never underestimated humans. He was fascinated by the things they could make and what they were willing to achieve. There was a reason for each brushstroke on every painting painted onto a simple canvas.

  
This latest exhibition, the wonderful _Sakura_ , belonged to a modern painter who had dedicated his whole life to art but died young. Another _lie_ , Jin knew. The painting was modern but the style, the colors, the technique, everything was evidence to him, just like the gentle violet stains that symbolized so familiarly the blossoming of the plum trees, the fragile petals and the figure dancing under the tree, embraced by red stains on the white background. The painting was beautiful; the gracious tilt of the head with long dark hair, the white neck, and the red lips. Jin knew this movement from every time that Kazuya’s long hair had covered his eyes and he tried to brush the locks away. He saw this painfully familiar moment in his head and the knots in his stomach made it difficult for him to breathe.

  
Jin didn’t doubt that these paintings belonged to the brush of the same painter—the dancing numbers on the red stains were the evidence.

  
 _1582_

__  
Someone had made Kazuya dance, _for eternity._

 __  
*

  
 _Kyoto, 1861_

__  
People around started to notice that something strange was happening with their master but Jin couldn’t prevent it. Kazuya was careful, always polite and charming. He never touched Jin’s family or servants, but people kept dying. The lifestyle in the house, the plates full of food and the paleness of Jin’s face, the same as the guest who lived with him for almost ten years now, were strange. Jin hadn’t changed at all and people around him could see it too.

  
Kazuya pinned Jin against the nearest wall with an inhuman force and said through clenched teeth, “Do not let people see you near candlelight! You want us to lose all we have? This house? Our money? This comfort? Do you want to live like rats?”

  
Jin looked at the brilliant blue eyes and felt that for him there was no difference. This comfort and the expensive fabrics Kazuya wrapped himself in, he didn’t care about it at all. He wanted to burn it all and Kazuya along with it, but first he wanted to sink his fangs into the veins of the damned tempting white skin.

  
Jin felt restless. With each new victim, it was becoming harder and harder to take a human’s life, and he felt like he was dying along with them each time. It was a torture and yet Kazuya only thought about his own comfort.

  
Jin wanted to be free from this hunger and from Kazuya, from his obsession with Kazuya.

  
His creator saw his suffering but never helped him. He just prepared another victim, telling Jin what awful thoughts this human had, because Kazuya had the gift to read minds. Every vampire actually had a gift, but not Jin. Even as a vampire, he was cursed. It was Kazuya’s fault. Kazuya knew what was inside the people he killed.

  
*

  
Kazuya stayed near the candles. They were absolutely alone. The servants hid, no one wanting to participate in the night parties that the master had with his friend, sometimes with women who always disappeared from the face of the earth the next day.

  
Kazuya licked his lips, the white fangs, the smirk that belonged to a predator, the fast move, and he caught something in his hands that struggled and tried to run. But no one could run from Kazuya’s grip, Jin knew it very well, having spent nights in the marble hands and fighting between the urge to kiss and bite the red luscious lips.

  
“What are you doing?” Jin asked. With disgust, he saw a big rat in Kazuya’s hand, and then the heavy massive ring at Kazuya’s finger, with a skull and very sharp part, cut the flesh in a moment. The drops of blood fell into a long glass, the one that cost a fortune but Kazuya said they must have at home.

  
Kazuya took a sip , but wrinkled his nose despondently. “It gets cold so fast.” He noticed Jin’s horrified look and added, “Sometimes, you need to live only on rats to survive, so wipe that foolish expression from your face.”  
Realization hit him hard and Jin asked, “We can live without killing, just from animals?”

  
“Yes, we can. But it’s difficult to call it living. It’s just surviving. Sometimes, we have no other choice, like in the ships. What else can you do than taking the lives of rats?” The mischievous smile played on the defined lips.  
“It is possible!?”

  
“Everything is possible. Just try it for a week.” Kame looked at him, as if he knew how pointless all Jin’s attempts were.

  
Kazuya was an awful teacher. He gave so much useless information, torturing Jin for years, when he almost went crazy over the feeling of killing and taking someone’s life. He threw the glass in the fire and Jin looked at the scattered pieces.

  
“I hope you don’t mind.” The fake apology, the almost innocent smile on Kazuya’s face made the blood boil in Jin’s veins. “Even if you did, you can’t help it.”

  
“I can throw you out of my house!” That was the first time Jin lost his temper with Kazuya, but the latter was still smiling.

  
“That would be inconvenient. If tomorrow you die without knowing simple things about yourself, that will be such a calamity, don’t you think?”

  
At the sight of the mocking smile and raised elegant eyebrow, Jin growled with all his force, pinning Kazuya to the wall. But the blue-eyed vampire just laughed at this, because Kazuya was stronger, much stronger, and he knew the power he had over Jin too damn well. And as he kissed his white neck, Jin hated himself, with all fibers of his soul, if he still had any, because Kazuya made the worst part of his nature appear, that part he preferred not knowing whether it even existed.

  
*

  
It was not very calm in Kyoto and Jin felt that something would happen. Kazuya preferred to be at the top, attending the places where he could mix with high society.

  
Kazuya tried to show him all the pleasure he could have while using his power and just enjoying sinking his teeth into a human’s neck. Kazuya was a master at it. His victims always followed his steps, without doubting his intentions, just being under the spell of his blue eyes that had such a magnificent radiance. He made them succumb to his will, with a gentle touch, with a tender word and the look through his long dark eyelashes. The red tongue moistened his dark lips and the victim was ready to give her life, already trembling in anticipation and showing her neck with a vein that made Jin’s blood boil and the drum sound in his ears.

  
Kazuya was a devil; he took humans’ lives with a charming smile and closed eyes, and an expression of the highest pleasure on the white marble mask that was his face. He preferred the blood of young boys. He called them the spoiled kids of high society, just like Jin was when Kazuya took his life.

  
Jin couldn’t follow Kazuya’s steps. He was different. Once, he had almost been caught while sinking his teeth in a poodle’s neck.

  
“You are a coward! Drinking the blood of animals and being a shame to the vampires, you can finish us both this night! Do you have any idea what would have happened if someone saw you and understood your true nature!?”

  
“You can go to hell,” Jin threw as an answer, still trembling from the hunger the animal hadn’t been able to satisfy.

  
“I don’t know any hell!” Kazuya was angry, enraged.

  
Jin was so angry and felt so miserable. This was all Kazuya’s fault because he damned him to this life. But all his attempts to hurt his creator or even punch him were useless and only made the blue-eyed monster laugh. Kazuya let him be, let him live drinking animal’s blood, just watching him.

  
He once said to Jin, when he had been so full of this desire to destroy Kazuya after a fight, when they had almost ruined half of Jin’s bedroom, “Life without me will be even more unbearable for you! You are the lucky one, living in your own home and being the lord by yourself.”

  
Pushing Jin aside and sitting on the floor, Kazuya continued with an unfamiliar bitterness in his voice, “In Europe, vampires must be very careful. Not like here.”

  
“In Europe? You came from Europe?”

  
Jin was glad to learn something about Kazuya, because he knew nothing, not even the year Kazuya had been turned into a vampire and who had turned him. Kazuya had never told him anything.

  
“I spent some time there with the vampire who made me and after that, I just traveled by myself until I decided to return here.”

  
Kazuya looked troubled and Jin understood that the situation in Kyoto bothered him. He was afraid to lose what he had.

 

  
“The vampire who made you? Tell me about him. He must have taught you something important.”

  
“I don’t know anything. I never had a choice, didn’t I tell you?”

  
“But you must have?”

  
“Why? Do you think I knew what kind of life was waiting for me? Did you know?”

  
No, Jin didn’t. And that was Kazuya’s fault too.

  
A few months later, they had to leave Jin’s house, because his servants burned it, finding the traces of dead animals around the home and suspecting their forever young master of all the mysterious crimes. When people came after Jin with fire, he couldn’t control himself, the animals’ blood making him even more restless and the hunger closing his eyes and ears. But Kazuya saved him.

  
Later, Jin sat in the dirty hold of a ship looking into the annoyed, brilliant pair of blue eyes that seemed to say “I told you,” and listening the endless rant about their lost comfort.

  
Kazuya only lived according to his well-known vampire’s rules. Once, he said that there was no hell but Jin knew that hell existed and he was spending every second of his existence in it.

  
Kazuya gripped the rat running nearby and sank his fangs into it. And so they started their exhausting voyage to Europe where Jin hoped they would meet other vampires.

  
*

  
 _St. Petersburg, 1968_

__  
The high vaults and spacious galleries of the Hermitage welcomed Jin with silence and darkness. Jin was used to darkness; he had been living in darkness and would live with it for eternity. Every time Jin found a new painting, an ever more powerful hope grew in his chest, the hope that maybe this time he would understand, would grasp the essence of Kazuya’s motivation, of the last look and last whisper, before the skin became parchment grey and the fire of the brilliant blue eyes faded, hanging in a silence, unsolved.

  
Jin’s long white coat was from the last fashion, the good fabric nicely emphasizing his shoulders in a big mirror that may have witnessed the last days of the Russian emperor. Now, two green brilliant eyes were looking back at Jin. He touched his pale cheek and trailed a finger near his jaw line.

  
 _“It shows your character, how stubborn and wild you are, Jin. But trying to hide it from me is useless, my beloved fool. I can always see right through you.”_

__  
The words echoed in one of the enormous halls of the museum, but Jin knew Kazuya’s voice and Kazuya’s words were only in his own head.

  
Why could Kazuya understand him and see what was boiling inside of his heart so well, all the hatred, all the displeasure at his own existence, when Jin couldn’t see anything in Kazuya’s unreadable cold blue eyes?

  
Jin searched for the one painting in the gallery that belonged to the end of the 19th century. _Impressionism._ Jin was prepared. He had read about art a lot during the last years and he knew what was waiting for him. The painting was hanging in the middle, surrounded by the works of French masters. The paint had been applied with a small, thin, but yet visible brushstroke . It was the same figure, in the same red fabric, with the same numbers hidden in a canvas that drove Jin crazy, because it still told him nothing. He couldn’t find the name of the artist, he couldn’t find anything about the life of the model, just nothing.

  
What attracted Jin’s attention and made him catch his breath was the smile adorning the red lips, very subtle, tender, and almost unapparent, yet as if the owner was looking and smiling at someone. It was a very intimate and warm smile that belonged to the person it was directed toward. Kazuya was dancing, but it looked like he paused just to smile warmly, while looking straight into someone else’s eyes. Maybe someone who was very dear to him?

  
Jin couldn’t stop staring. He spent almost a half-century with Kazuya, but he never saw him smile like this. He got the smirk, the mischievous smug, the playful smile, the mocking grin, but saw nothing like this one.

  
 _The solitude._

__  
Jin felt it so keenly right now. He looked at the little plate under the painting and his eyes widened in understanding.

  
The one who had all answers, he was there, in the same time as Jin and Kazuya.

  
Because it was painted at the end of the 19th century, in Paris.

 

_Paris, 1861_

__  
Every minute during the long voyage by sea and then over land, Kazuya had whined about how stupid Jin was and how they had lost everything. Yet it didn’t prevent Kazuya from stealing money from his victims to spend on new clothes, because they couldn’t be in Japanese traditional clothes any longer. They were now in Europe and Kazuya’s tastes required only high quality. Jin was the son of a merchant. He maybe was useless and absolutely not worth anything but now he understood that to satisfy Kazuya’s appetite, it was better to take their finances under his own control.

  
Kazuya was content and Paris was happy to meet two young and very attractive, extraordinary men, who preferred to enjoy a very colorful nightlife. There wasn’t any problem with their life style; Paris was the city where people didn’t ask question as long as they were paid. And Jin always paid for the house they were living in, in the heart of the Montmartre. People welcomed Kazuya with happiness, even with his sometimes vulgar manners and his low laughter. They were all young and full of hopes and dreams. Jin followed in his footsteps, thinking how naïve people were to invite a monster into their house with a smile on their faces, just as if asking for death.

  
It was all a game for Kazuya and Jin had no idea what _he_ was for him. But he knew that his stubbornness in refusing to drink human’s blood and how he suffered for it amused Kazuya.

  
“You must stop resisting the voice inside of you screaming out of hunger. Just stop being so stubborn and self-destructive. Drink the blood and accept yourself, Jin!”

  
Kazuya’s voice was painful as if it went straight into Jin’s open nerves.

  
“You have eternity and there’s no reason to make yourself suffer like that.”

  
Jin didn’t care what he would have; he just wanted everything to stop but first, for Kazuya to shut up. He could live without killing, no matter how painful the hunger tearing his chest and all his being apart, plunging him into agony.

  
During those days, Jin understood one thing about Kazuya while observing his ways of hunting and choosing his prey, obsessed till the moment he would take the life of the person he wanted and then losing all interest. Being a vampire for Kazuya meant taking revenge against life itself. Every time he took a life, it was for revenge. It was no wonder then that he appreciated nothing. The nuances of a vampire existence weren’t even available to him because he was focused with a maniacal vengeance upon the mortal life he had left. Jin wondered what kind of life Kazuya had lived, but when the vampire kissed him with the familiar smirk on his red lips, it made all useless questions evaporate from Jin’s head.

  
*

  
Jin wanted to leave and Kazuya could feel it. Jin felt like he was on the edge, without peace, just rushing through the city, tearing himself from his inner fight. Kazuya was the biggest and cruelest temptation. The dirty streets of Paris, Jin knew them all by heart by now, spending all his nights there, just walking under the severe rain, without feeling cold or anything, with desire burning in his veins.

  
 _The hunger._

  
It was so painful, this existence. Jin hated everything--Kazuya, this city full of smells and temptation, the prey waiting around the corner with big eyes and shamelessly offering themselves. But most of all, he hated himself, because he was so weak and couldn’t control his hunger and suppress the sensations burning inside of his chest.

  
Every time Kazuya was near, every time this blue-eyed teaser licked his lips, showing his sharp fangs and taking life in front of Jin’s eyes, it was overwhelming.

  
Once Jin said, “I want to leave you and travel to find someone like me, another vampire who has more in common with me than you, who understands and knows all the secrets about the power I have and what I’m living for. I’m confident that I will be able to find one and then you can stay alone with all your little useless secrets.”

  
Kazuya chuckled, his blues eyes focused on Jin’s face and his new expression of unfamiliar confusion.

  
“Jin, my beloved fool! What kind of answers do you need? About yourself? About the reason you live? You are a vampire and vampires live for killing.“

  
The next second, Kazuya was very close, his fierce blue eyes shining from the perfect pale face free of any wrinkles.

  
“Predators. Vampires are predators. And as long as you long for your mortal life, you won’t be able to understand who you are! You love your mortal life too much. You must stop that. Does it make you happy? No! It brings you pain and nothing else.”

  
Jin wanted to object, to tell Kazuya that he was wrong. He just wanted to understand what his purpose was. Killing?

  
“Only when you are killing you can be filled, you can be happy and feel the sounds and the beauty of this world. Other vampires?” There was an uncovered mockery in Kazuya’s voice. “Vampires are all killers! They don’t want you or your sensibility! They’ll see you coming long before you can see them. They’ll seek to kill you even if you are like me. Vampires are jealous of their secrets and powers, fighting to protect their territories. And if you meet a few of them together, that’s not a partnership. That only means that one of them is like a slave for another one, like you are for me.”

  
Jin felt a strong rage growing inside him and the words slipped from his mouth, “I’m not your slave!”

  
Kazuya stayed silent and Jin realized that he had actually always been his slave. He couldn’t leave Kazuya because he was scared of the things he didn’t know and because the power of Kazuya’s blue eyes and his strong arms were too suffocating.

  
Jin wanted to succumb to the darkness of rainy Paris. He wandered through the dirty _ruelles_ full of rats with only one thought in his mind: to never ever see Kazuya again.

  
*

  
During one restless night, when the throbbing pain was tearing him apart and the hunger was making his insides turn upside down, he heard a soft cry. His wobbly legs led him to the source of the sound. It was just a little girl, sitting in an empty poor house, alone and scared, crying and calling for her mother. But all Jin could see were the blue veins on her neck and the blood rushing through her body. He was hungry to the point of losing any control over himself and his actions. He had just one goal, her blood, and even her cries didn’t stop him.

  
He came closer and sat near the little girl. Her trusting eyes looked at him, asking him in French where her mother was. The little body clang to him, seeking help. Jin hugged her, feeling the warmth and the smell that was intoxicating. She made a soft surprised sound when he bit her, sinking his teeth into her neck and drinking. Once again, he was in harmony with himself, feeling the long awaited drums of his prey’s little heart and the sweet taste that filled his veins. Jin lost himself, forgetting all about the time, the place, while only the feelings of euphoria and happiness that verged on insanity existed. But the next sound was so shocking that it made him jerk, as if he had been caught doing a horrible thing, which he was.

  
The loud familiar laughter made him come back to his senses. Kazuya was standing on the threshold of the poor house in his expensive clothes, golden rings on his fingers, while his blue eyes shined in triumph.

  
“My beloved philosopher, the one who cares the most about human’s life, couldn’t you deal with your hunger?”

  
Kazuya’s eyes were glittering and he was laughing, not even trying to suppress his amusement towards the situation. Only now did Jin understand what he had done while the voice inside of his head, this quirky voice that sounded as nasal and as provoking as Kazuya’s, whispered: _You just wanted the blood. It drove you insane, this taste, this smell, this power that you got with every drop. You are a murderer, a killer. You are like me. We are the same._

  
Jin’s only desire was to escape from the magnetism of the blue eyes fixed on him, from the lifeless body in his arms and from this voice that was screaming in his head. He stood and started running as fast as he could when he heard Kazuya yell after him.

  
“You are what you are, Jin! ”

  
The heavy raindrops hit his face as one thought kept on replaying in his head: everything Kazuya had said was true. He could only feel peace after drinking human blood. When he drank the girl’s blood and heard the enormous drum of her heart, it made him feel so peaceful that the anxiety disappeared and he felt in harmony with himself. Her blood coursing in his veins was sweeter than life itself and Kazuya’s words finally made sense to him. He could only be in peace when he killed. When he heard the little girl’s heart in this terrible rhythm, he felt again what peace was.

  
It had just been for a little moment though, until realization dawned on him and the tears started rolling down his pale cheeks, on this disgusting vampire’s skin so smooth and so radiant. He had killed a child. Because of his hunger, he took the life of an innocent girl. He didn’t deserve any forgiveness. This hell he was living in, he deserved it. Jin fell on the dirty ground, searching for something to deafen the drum still beating in his ears and forget the guilty pleasure of feeling his prey’s blood on the tip of his tongue.

  
Jin killed too many rats, trying in vain hope to make the taste disappear from his mouth, to make the guilt stop consuming him. But everything Kazuya has said was the truth and that was even more unbearable for Jin.

  
Jin had lost track of time, sitting alone in the darkness of a dirty place, when he felt someone else’s presence. Jin was too exhausted from thinking about the crime he had committed to run or even move.

  
“All I needed to do to find you was to follow the rats,” Kazuya said dryly.

  
Jin felt a hand on his shoulder and jerked away from it. Kame’s voice was soft now and thoughtful, the blue eyes looking at him with concern.

  
“Pain is terrible for you. You feel it like no other creature because you are a vampire,” the one who created him told him.

  
Yes, Kazuya was right. The pain, a cold vampire could feel it all, not the same way as mortals, and yet it could be unbearable. Kazuya sat near him on the cold ground, dirtying his expensive clothes, and touched his cheek gently.

  
“You don’t want to go home?”

  
“No,” Jin answered as a thought crossed his mind. What was home? The place that was slowly driving him insane because of Kazuya’s closeness; because of Kazuya’s eyes that never let go of him; because of Kazuya’s lips, so red and burning on his cold vampire’s skin; because of Kazuya’s touches that Jin wanted to feel but was trying hard to resist to no avail, making him hate himself for not being able; because of Kazuya’s skin that was sometimes so warm; or because of the blood of others that warmed him. Was that home? Jin had no place in this world he could call home. He never had.

  
“Just do what you feel is in your nature and you’ll again feel the same as you felt when you had the human in your arms.”

  
Jin felt so horrible thinking about the little fragile body in his arms but that intoxicating euphoria that took over him without leaving anything made him feel less guilty, less like a murderer. The little girl’s heart had been beating so fast, as if trying to resist, as if she had been fighting for her life.

  
“Why are you disappointed in yourself? God kills people indiscriminately, so shouldn’t we? There aren’t any creatures like us on this Earth so think of him as ourselves.”

  
That was Kazuya after all and Kazuya’s philosophy. Playing the God, being powerful and deciding who would live and who would die. Jin bit his own lips, feeling cold inside, so cold and so lonely.

  
“I have a gift for you. Come, Jin. “

  
The blue brilliant eyes looked at him so tenderly, promising the whole world to him, but Jin still had doubts. Maybe he could finish everything now, stay here and die somehow. Maybe he would find a way out.

  
“Please.” The always scratchy yet smooth and almost velvet voice sounded soothing now and Jin gave his hand to Kazuya, believing him. Again.

  
Jin was such a fool.

  
*

  
Jin felt so tired following Kazuya’s steps. Kazuya’s hand held his gently, caressing it softly with his thumb, not letting him go. He had Jin mesmerized, enchanted. He was leading. And when they entered the house, Kazuya signaled to Jin to stay quiet.

  
“Kazuya?!” Jin asked, feeling a bad premonition. He had been able to relax but now, he wondered with worry what the present Kazuya prepared for him was. When he saw the little pale figure lying on the king-sized bed, Jin felt horror seize him until he noticed that she was breathing.

  
“I thought I killed her.” The heavy stone fell from his chest, and he felt so relieved.

  
“No you didn’t, love. Your conscious is clear.”

  
But with sadness, Jin felt how weak her little heart was. She lost too much blood and she was dying, because of him. Kazuya sat near the little girl on the bed, gently caressing her warm cheek.

  
“You need a companion Jin, someone better than me, who will help you to accept yourself and be happy.”

  
When Kazuya spoke to the little girl, her lackluster eyes looked so weak.

  
“I will give you what you need to get well,” Kazuya’s voice was so tender and she nodded, showing her trust to the blue-eyed monster.

  
Kazuya was very careful, rolling the sleeve of his white silky shirt and preparing to cut his wrist, when Jin understood what he wanted to do. He was next to Kazuya in a second, taking his wrist with force and saying firmly, unable to control his anger, “No!”

  
Jin couldn’t deal with it. He couldn’t let Kame turn the innocent girl into a vampire.

  
“Do you want her to die then?” Kazuya asked, raising his ideally shaped eyebrow and Jin understood that he had lost the battle. She was dying and that was his fault, but Kazuya could give her another life and that would only be Kazuya’s responsibility.

  
The fast movements and the smell of Kazuya’s blood quickly spread into the room and Jin closed his eyes, trying to get all his feelings of anger under control and to send away the memories of the sweetness of this blood.

  
The little girl’s eyes were wide open as she strongly gripped his arm and sank her teeth into Kazuya’s marble flesh, not letting go, ignoring Kazuya’s words. Jin looked with wide eyes, feeling how weak Kazuya was becoming with every drop he was losing.

  
“Stop! Stop! Enough!”

  
He pushed the little girl with force, breathless. The supernatural paleness shined under the candlelight and the agony started. She was dying and Jin couldn’t move, feeling her pain and understanding how powerless he was, unable to ease it even a bit. She was dying to be born again.

  
She looked like a doll, with golden curly hair and shining blue eyes, the same as Kazuya had, and her first words were: “I want some more”

  
Kazuya chuckled, patting her soft hair: “Of course you want more, my angel.”

  
The soft sound of the bell rang and a servant entered the room with a shiny smile when she noticed the cute girl. Kazuya was fast preparing the prey for the newly born vampire and she sank her fangs without hesitation, led just by hunger and only the desire to satisfy it. Jin couldn’t move or even utter a word, fighting with his own hunger, when the smell was so strong and he felt how the women was dying while being horrified at witnessing the little girl killing so cruelly.

  
But hearing how the child swallowed with greed every drop at the same time, he felt how the life was leaving the fragile human body.

  
Kazuya looked like a caring father, removing the golden locks from the little innocent face.

  
“You must stop before her heart stops,” Kazuya said, but the innocent girl replied, astonished: “I want some more.”

  
That was the mistake, a big and huge mistake. Kazuya was again playing God by giving and taking life as he pleased.

  
This picture was terrifying in its cruelty. Kazuya and Mari, they were so unbelievably beautiful and flawless, talking about how good a girl she was, not spitting out any drop of blood. Jin felt cold inside, ugly and unbearable cold, his heart sinking from this idyll.

  
“Where is mama?”

  
Kazuya laughed, embracing her closer and saying pinching her nose, “Mama is gone to heaven like this lovely lady.” Kazuya showed the dead body on the bed.

  
“All but us,” Jin said and Kazuya threw him a look full of reproach.

  
“You want to frighten our little daughter?”

  
Mari’s eyes landed curiously on Kazuya’s face then she asked innocently, “Am I your daughter?”

  
Kazuya kissed her plump cheek. An angelic smile appeared on her face, and she snuggled closer. Jin looked into those blue eyes that looked back without blinking, the red lips explaining in a soothing voice, “Yes, dear, you are. Jin wanted to leave us, but now…he will stay… now he is going to stay and make you happy.”

  
The smug expression and the chuckle left Kazuya’s defined lips and the girl ran to Jin. Her little hands closed around his neck. She was so close, so trusting, kissing him and smiling so brightly, that Jin felt that his heart was melting. She was beautiful, a wonderful and magical creature, and her smile was enough to make Jin happy.

  
Jin couldn’t leave her alone with Kazuya. He wanted to be near and help her in her difficult first steps as a vampire. She was just an innocent child, after all. Jin embraced her closer, looking into the brilliant blue eyes of the most dangerous and calculating person he had ever met. Mari was just a child and needed someone to take care of her.

  
“You are evil,” Jin said, feeling the soft fragrance of his new daughter.

  
Jin was conquered by this lovely smile and these innocent eyes. He was not alone anymore. He could love someone, someone who would be like him, not like Kazuya. He felt the warmth of the little body that became so dear to him.

  
“Like a happy family.” Kazuya looked at Jin with a distant smile.

  
Jin stayed. He had Mari now, his beloved daughter.

  
*

  
 _Madrid, 1972_

__  
The long pale face looked out at Jin from the painting that belonged to the brush of El Greco. Jin spent a few minutes enjoying the riot of colors and the harmony that had been created. Jin found the art of this master fascinating. But as beautiful as found this one, the Goya painting opposite made him shiver, a heavy feeling spread inside, reminding him of the crime he once committed, about his betrayal and about his own hypocrisy. He remembered the days when he had spoken with disgust about his parents’ double faces and their false principals. Jin was no better and what he had done was the proof. He was the worst and he would wake up every day feeling this guilt as an enormous stone weighing on his chest, suffocating him.

  
The Prado gallery was full of amazing pieces of art, but the atmosphere of this place and the painting that looked at Jin from the walls made an unbearable anguish oppress his heart.

  
The next painting, with a little princess and her golden locks, made him remember Mari and his heart clenched painfully. He still could hear her cries, another life on his conscience. Jin often asked himself why Kazuya had turned her, why he had decided to create another vampire and why he had chosen this girl. He doubted he had found her interesting. He wouldn’t even have bit someone like her. She wasn’t his type. He did it for Jin and this thought made Jin felt restless.

  
Was it just a whim of a selfish vampire who had the habit of doing everything as he pleased, who just didn’t want Jin to leave, because Jin was too much fun for him, amusing him in his suffering? Or was it maybe something else?

  
Jin wandered in the dark gallery. At the end of a corridor, he stood in front of the painting that had brought him here. The painting was dated from 18th century and belonged to a master who used to be very popular among the nobility. His other works were in this collection too, but the only one that caught Jin’s attention was the same scenario, with the dancing young man.

  
The painting was made in a different style, on a dark background and with only red fabrics, so beautiful. The face of the dancer was very pale and only the eyes looked intense. It was the first time there was something else into the painting, not just Kazuya. A tall figure was in the corner, his long black hair hiding his face. The wonderful pattern of his clothes made Jin admire the craftsmanship.

  
Kazuya was looking at another man, dancing for someone. Why was Jin feeling more confused with every new painting? It should have been the other way around, but in reality, he didn’t know what to think.

  
That night when Kazuya gave a gift to Jin, what had he thought about? What had led him to do that? Maybe Kazuya had felt lonely just like Jin and had been afraid Jin would disappear from his life. Jin didn’t know and what tore his heart apart was the knowledge that he would never find out the truth.


	2. Chapter 2

_Europe_

_  
End of the 19th century- beginning of the 20th century _

__  
With a little child at home, their life changed. Mari was absolutely different from Jin and Kazuya and observing her every day, the new things she was learning, the way she was looking at the world with the innocent eyes of an unspoiled child, and Jin found it mesmerizing.

  
Every time she crawled into his coffin, her little hand sneaking around his neck and her little heart beating so far near his, he felt the bond that connected them. Because he was the one who had almost killed her, hearing the drum of her heart, yet she was alive here, in his arms, looking at his face so closely, giggling, and her long eyelashes tickling his cheek

  
Mari was like a little doll for Kazuya. He surrounded her with luxury, laces, silk and dolls with marble faces that looked exactly like she did. He acted lovingly with her and it was very surprising for Jin to see his manipulative creator like this. He wondered what could be happening inside his head.

  
She was a child for Jin, the one he found pleasure in taking care of, but for Kazuya, she was the pupil who listened to his words and sometimes, made him lose his temper because of her pranks. Kazuya never punished her, only telling her about her mistakes and demanding that she follow the simple rules of their home.

  
“You can’t kill inside the house!” he said pointing his finger at her astonished face. Mari did as she pleased and Kazuya sometimes lost his temper when she killed the people around without any discretion, when the nurses and the dressmakers became the victims of her little sharp teeth. Kazuya had repeated to her over and over again how dangerous it could be if people found out about their true nature.

  
She was a little child but also a fierce killer, asking for blood like the demanding child that she was. Mari resembled Kazuya more in the easy way she took life. Together, Kazuya and Mari enjoyed the hunt and playing with their victims while Jin still couldn’t let himself do it.

  
The little vampire learned very quickly, she understood how to easily take what she wanted using her innocent eyes and childish smile to make her victims jump into her trap. Kazuya was impressed with her fast comprehension and how she followed and used all his advice and lessons.

  
Mortals were happy having time flying by very fast and the same went for vampires. The days changed into months, years, one city replaced another city and Jin thought that maybe he had finally found the awaited peace, even though he was still living on animal blood.

  
Thirty years passed yet Mari stayed as an eternal child. Her eyes alone told the story of her age with an interrogation that they both needed to answer one day. She had the body of a little girl but with every year, she was growing up and the understanding that her soul was trapped in her little body made her sad. It was tearing Jin’s heart apart while Kazuya would rant.

  
“We don’t need one more melancholy person here! With every day, you’re becoming more like Jin. Soon, you will eat rats!”

  
She sometimes became unpredictable . Aghast, Jin saw the changes in his little companion, trying to prolong the moment when he must face the reality: their lives would change soon and he couldn’t prevent it.

  
“My magic doll,” Jin said tenderly, brushing her beautiful golden hair as she sat on his lap and let him fix her pink ribbons. Her thoughts became more and more unknowable for him and when she asked for a coffin for herself, Jin felt hurt. Still, every time she spent the night with Jin, her little fingers would play with his hair while she was falling asleep.

  
Jin loved his little child with all his heart but the inevitable was coming closer and he could see the signs already. Mari grew colder and more distant with Kazuya, trying to avoid any conversation with him and ignoring his questions, which made him boil with indignation and throw astonished looks at Jin, as if he demanded an explanation.

  
Jin tried to calm Kazuya when he was ready to snap at Mari and asked her why she was staring at him for hours. When she looked at her creator, her eyes were cold, almost filled with an anger that Jin was trying to find the reason for.   
“She is not a child anymore,” he repeated to the blue-eyed vampire, embracing his waist. ”She is a woman.”

  
“What’s the matter with her?!” Kazuya exclaimed, telling how she followed his every step but refused to kill with him, just playing a creepy stalker game that he couldn’t understand.

  
Kazuya didn’t ask for love but when she had refused to answer him, he had almost flown near her, full of rage. Jin had needed all his force to stop him. He had held him tight, whispering to him to take it lightly and let her be.

  
“What do you want to do?” Jin wondered worriedly, looking at how the brilliant blue eyes shined with this familiar fire that reminded him so much of the fights that they used have before Mari appeared into their life.

  
“I will make her understand!” The defined lips formed a thin line.

  
“You can’t. She won’t obey your words only because you say so!” The anxiety appeared in Jin’s heart. He was afraid of Kazuya’s actions and wanted to protect Mari.

  
“So make her understand,” he demanded, as if Jin was the one responsible for it all.

  
Jin had been so naïve, believing that he could be happy for eternity. The fragile tranquility of their home was broken. When Kazuya was at home, Mari was absent and it made Kazuya feel frustrated, taking his revenge in the city, returning home with a blush on his always-pale cheeks and warm skin, which always made Jin shiver in anticipation of feeling the lips on his skin.

  
Kazuya licked his lips and smiled, “wine, they’d been drinking too much wine when I killed them so I feel dizzy. Don’t like it.” Jin saw the soft expression in the brilliant blue eyes and chuckled, watching the effect alcohol had on a vampire who preferred to have everything under his control. Jin bent closer and whispered: “I heard her steps, so please, be gentle!”

  
Kazuya sat on the couch, relaxed and content, waiting. When Mari rushed in the room, her little body was covered with lace and velvet, trembling, and her blue fierce eyes were so cold, not belonging to a child.

  
“Who did that to me?” she demanded. Jin forgot how to breathe, looking at how her eyes first slid over him to stop on Kazuya. “It was you, right? You did that to me, right? Answer me!”

  
Their gazes crossed and Jin realized that nothing would be the same now that her eyes were burning with hatred.

  
A familiar smirk appeared on Kazuya’s face as he asked, “Why are you asking now? Why does it bother you?”

  
She ran toward him, the woman trapped in a child’s body, condemned to live eternity like this. She exclaimed in a tone Jin had never heard before, too strong and too insistent, “How did you do that?”

  
“It’s only my power!” Kazuya whispered with a mischievous smile playing on his lips and pinched her cheek, deciding to leave the room.

  
“Why only yours?” Jin felt that Mari was going too far and Kazuya’s patience had its limit. He was right. Kazuya almost flew near Mari who still looked like a little doll with laces and beautiful shoes, and cupped her face.   
“Be glad for what I did or now you would be dead.”   
The peace of their house was destroyed.

  
*

  
Mari searched for the answers that Kazuya refused to give her. She stood at one of the balconies, watching the night sky of Venice, where they had decided to spend some time, her fragile shoulders trembling. When Jin came closer, he saw the expression on her face. Mari was restless and when she asked him, Jin couldn’t refuse to tell her the truth.

  
“You will never die, Mari.”

  
“That means something else, right?” Her tiny voice sounded dull. Jin’s heart was bleeding, watching her suffer.

  
“You will never grow old.” She closed her eyes, accepting the verdict, the little face still so smooth and angelic and the pouty lips as pink as they always were.

  
“I hate him. He’s the one who did it, right?” The pause made her open her eyes and she looked with attention at Jin. This was so hard because he had known that after she learned the truth, he would lose her forever. But he couldn’t put all the blame on Kazuya even if he wanted to. He must be honest with his little companion.

  
“I took your life and he gave you another one.”

  
In a flash, her expression changed and Jin’s nightmare became reality. Mari wanted to run. He fell on his knees and hugged her little body tightly, pleading with her, “Don’t hate me, please. Don’t hate me. You are the only happiness I have in my life, my only companion in immortality. I can’t bear your hate.”

  
Something in Mari was so akin to Jin and he understood perfectly that he needed her, he needed her little company to live and Kazuya needed it as well.   
He felt her little finger caress his hair.

  
“I can’t hate you, Jin. I never will. You are like a father to me, like a mother.” She embraced him and whispered with determination. “We must leave him.”

  
“He will never let us!” Jin had dreamed to be free from Kazuya but at the same time, this idea frightened him.

  
“Oh, really?” Mari’s brilliant blue eyes shined with a mischief so like Kazuya.

  
*

  
Just her presence was enough to irritate Kazuya. When she sat near him, his lips twitched and he went out to spend a lot of time in the town, but most of the time returned very restless and annoyed, as if he hadn’t found what he needed.

  
“She will be aright,” Jin reassured him, holding his hand and feeling that his skin was not warm enough, as if he was still hungry.

  
“She better be,” the vampire answered in a low voice. Jin pulled him closer, filled with fear for Mari.

  
“What will you do, then?”

  
The brilliant blue eyes looked coldly. “Everything was so perfect, Jin. You better talk to her.”

  
Jin was scared because if Kazuya found out about Mari’s intention, he had no idea what he would do. At the same time, Jin was preparing to leave. He looked at their accounts and decided to leave everything to Kazuya, almost bribing him, buying Mari time, but he was afraid of what Kazuya could do if he understood that they wanted to leave.

  
Sometimes, sitting near the window and looking at Kazuya’s proud profile and smooth skin, his white neck that had such soft skin, Jin thought that maybe, it would be better returning to the time when everything was alright. But seeing Mari on the threshold, her eyes full of hatred, he understood that there was no way back.

  
Kazuya’s current state looked like depression. Lately, he rarely left home and as a result, he was sometimes very hungry. Often, his perfect hair was disheveled and his white silk shirt was unbuttoned. He sometimes asked Jin to accompany him to the theater, to watch a ballet or listen to opera, as if Kazuya was able to find some peace in music.

  
When they returned from the theater once, Kazuya was in a cheerful mood, singing the playful aria from _Rigoletto_. But Mari entered the room and the blue-eyed vampire, so relaxed just a moment before, showed his fangs right away exclaiming, “You are irritating me. Your presence is getting on my nerves! Get lost!”

  
A nice smile appeared on Mari’s lips.

  
“I came to make peace with you. I want everything to be as it was before,” her blue eyes were crystal clear but Jin could feel Kazuya’s suspicions and doubts. ”Even if you are a liar, you are still my father.”   
Her little legs stepped on the soft carpet and she embraced Kazuya, sitting on his laps.

  
“I prepared a present for you, to show my intention.”

  
A smirk crossed his defined lips. “I knew you’d understand your fault. Just stop asking me questions. Stop following me. Stop searching in every alley a way to other vampires. There are no other vampires!”

  
There was a beautiful woman, lying on Mari’s bed, sleeping peacefully.

  
“She is beautiful, perfection. You can never be like her,” Kazuya said and Jin saw how tensed Mari’s little back became.

  
“Why are you so cruel to me?” she asked softly but with reproach, while lifting up the long brown hair, freeing the woman’s neck. Kazuya was hungry, Jin could feel it, and everything disappeared around him in this room, leaving only him and his victim with warm blood.

  
Jin thought that he had seen enough and decided to leave them. In the beginning, he had felt anxious about what Mari had been thinking about but now, as he understood her intention, he felt like a heavy stone had fallen from his chest. Everything would be ok, he decided.

  
He opened the door to his room when Kazuya voiced startled him, calling his name. When Jin returned, he saw the vampire standing on his knees and holding his throat, looking at Mari with wide eyes. Jin tried to understand what happened.

  
He wanted to take a step toward Kazuya when a cold voice ordered him, “Don’t come closer, Jin!”

  
“What did you give her?” Kazuya was still holding his throat. He felt as if he was suffocating.

  
“I killed her but I gave her the best poison so the blood would stay warm for a time. You were a good teacher.”

  
Kazuya started laughing, as if this sound could possibly be called a laugh. He still couldn’t breathe. With astonishment, Jin looked at Mari. She tried to kill her creator. She had lost her mind.

  
“Mari! Stop it!” Jin wanted to take her hand but she was faster and in one movement, blood started flowing from Kazuya’s neck, from the wound she just made.

  
“You will die, Kazuya! Because you deserve it, to die and to burn in hell!”

  
The wide blue eyes looked at Jin, asking for help while his lips repeated his name. Jin wanted to help but every time he made a step closer, Mari held him with her firm voice. The candles fell on the carpet and the luxurious fabric that they had used to decorate their home. The fire grew bigger but Kazuya’s voice was still ringing in Jin’s ears. He wanted to come closer but Mari’s little hand held him and her eyes looked pleadingly at him.

  
“If you help him Jin, he will never let me stay. He will kill me!”

  
Jin understood that it was the truth. Being so vengeful, Kazuya would destroy Mari. With his knowledge, he would find a way and Jin wouldn’t even have the opportunity to save her.

  
When the tongues of flames started licking Mari’s velvet dress and shoes, they left the house.

  
Numbness was all Jin could feel right now and he could only see the brilliant blue eyes, looking straight at him and asking for help. Jin was finally free from the curse that had always been Kazuya. But why didn’t he feel any relief?   
In a little cemetery that they found, Mari put her little hand on Jin’s shoulder but he turned his face away. It was unbearable to look at her after what she did.

  
“He deserved it!” she said but Jin’s voice was dull.

  
“Then we deserve it too! How could you do that? How? We are no different from him! I can’t see your face right now!” Jin’s look was distant. Even Mari’s sigh of was disgusting, reminding him of the fire and Kazuya’s blue eyes, when he heard the sound, a soft heartbreaking sound that he hadn’t heard in so many years, which shocked him. Mari was crying, the same way as she had when she had been a mortal child, clinging to his chest, asking for help. But now it was worse, bitter.

  
“I did it for us, Jin! I did it for you! Because we must be free!” The small hands embraced him and he saw the tears falling from her blue eyes. “Please, don’t hate me, please! I have only you in this world. I can’t bear your hate. I will burn the same way because I don’t want to live with your hate.”

  
Jin embraced her, caressing her hair. She was just a child after all and what could a child do in a world alone? She felt scared and he understood that he must protect his child. She still needed him.

  
Jin returned to the place where they had lived, the place where Kazuya died. He didn’t know himself why he wanted to go back there. Was it to save Kazuya? The blue eyes asking for help, he remembered them very well. The place was totally burnt, and nothing was saved. Jin took a step into a room, the one where he left the vampire who had owned him. There was only the heavy ring with a skull, the ironical reminder of its owner, lying in the ashes, but no other trace of the vampire who had been burnt here.

  
Jin must feel relieved because he realized very clearly that if Kazuya stayed alive, he would haunt Mari and choose the most painful death for her. Jin threw a last look at the place where they had spent their last days together and left to wander in a narrow street of Venice, full of shadows and masks. Jin was trying to understand what he was feeling right now and what this void inside his chest meant. What was Kazuya for him and for Mari?

  
He was their creator, their father, the one who had held their hands and showed them the road, leading and guiding them.

  
Jin sat on an empty boat, letting it move forward with the waves, with only the desire to escape his bitter and unbearable feelings. The truth was so simple. Without Kazuya, his creator, his lover, his punishment, his guilty pleasure, the object of his hate and obsession, Jin felt like a blind child, frightened and lonely, very lonely.

  
Tears fell from his eyes. The sunrise would start in half an hour, Jin could feel it by looking at the sky. He wondered how it felt to be burnt under the sunbeams or to let the fire take his body.

  
When he returned to the cemetery, Mari was waiting for him, her blue-eyes of a killer looking with attention at his every move. When he sat on the cold-stone floor, she sat near him, took his hand and whispered, “I will protect you, Jin. I will be a vampire for both of us and will cherish your human side. Because Jin, I understand you the best.”

  
Jin was silent, just embracing her little body closer, feeling the weight of the heavy silver ring with a skull on his finger, the farewell present from Kazuya.

  
The next day, they left Venice. Their destination was Japan. Jin decided that it was time to return to his hometown and they both hoped that they would find other vampires there.

 

*

  
_Florence, 1992_

  
Kazuya loved this city. He often repeated that if he were a king, he wanted a kingdom as beautiful as this city. Every corner of the ancient houses, even the heavy grey cobble-stones, reminded Jin of the elegant vampire’s light steps and the sound of his walking stick.

  
The sky was full of stars, so beautiful and pure. The Gallery Uffizi from the ancient merchant bridge looked like a house from a fairy tale, just like the whole city. Florence was a wonderful place where, wherever you were, you had the feeling that time _froze_ and that the other world was so far away.

  
He entered the gallery, without being noticed by a single soul, walking through the halls, enjoying the works of art, which he himself became addicted to, adoring the beauty and the riots of colors. This place was full of gold. The scenes from the mythology were so beautiful and bright that Jin felt like he could hear the music, something from the ballet Kazuya had taken him to, where he had been listening and watching with his brilliant blue eyes, while flirting with his new unsuspicious victim.

  
Jin stayed near the _last_ painting on his list. It was the last one and he hadn’t read about other mentions of the legendary dancer, the one who danced for eternity and who was the source of inspiration for many talented painters. Jin understood already, though, that the one who made and created them all was the _same_ person, or better said, the same _vampire_.

  
Looking at the last piece of art, so bright and full of lights, dating from the beginning of the 17th century, Jin wondered how old Kazuya had been. The number _1582_ was maybe the date of his _death_ and it could be that someone repeated over and over again the same scenario in the painting and put the same numbers as a reminder to Kazuya, a reminder of the time he had been turned. It might be the reason for Kazuya’s hatred for all paintings and the fire burning in his blue eyes every time he saw a canvas and paints, maybe unveiling in him very unpleasant memories. Jin could feel that. Kazuya had forbidden Mari to paint him, tearing into pieces the drawing that she had given him, as if his own reflection was haunting him.

  
The picture on the wall was different from the others Jin had seen so far. Very sensually, almost erotically, the heavy red kimono was falling from the pale shoulders, exposing too much skin, radiant, warm. The painter was a master, _virtuoso_ of the brush as he was able to convey the beauty and the heat of the mortal skin.

  
Kazuya was mortal, the blush on his cheek was the evidence, the same way his shining eyes were, looking right into Jin from the picture, alluring with his dancing and at the same time, shamefully trying to suppress his shyness.

  
Who was the artist, the person, who could paint with every new stroke of the brush, creating this piece of art that couldn’t let one stay indifferent, always making the curiosity raise in one’s heart? Who was this dancer? Why was he dancing through the centuries? His smiles, his gaze, the blush on his cheeks, who did they belong to? So many questions yet only the silence responded.

  
Jin’s heart was aching because of this Kazuya who had been condemned to dance the same way Jin was condemned to wander, following the ghost of the past and having no future ahead.

  
“You are interesting and persistent…”

  
Jin _knew_ this was coming even before he heard the voice. He could unmistakably feel the presence of another vampire. He hoped he could leave the gallery without meeting with the hateful red eyes that brought painful memories and the sound of a child’s cry, his child.

  
Ryo came closer to the painting, touching with his fingers the exposed shoulder and looking back at Jin. It was too late when Jin noticed the sharp nail and the sound of the fabric being cut. The vampire’s movements were too fast for mortal’s eyes to even precede them, and in the blink of an eye, Ryo’s back hit the wall and Jin’s hands were firm around his neck.

  
The chuckles left Ryo’s lips and his red eyes looked unimpressed.

  
“I’m stronger than you, don’t you know that?”

  
Jin knew it. His strength was the same as Kazuya. Ryo met with brilliant green eyes that looked too bright because of the feelings and memories that were filling the owner and the pain, hidden so deep in his wounded heart.

  
“I don’t care, don’t you know that?”

  
Ryo knew it too well; he must remember the fire, the cries of so many vampires and the white fangs with the brilliant desperate green eyes full of craving for vengeance.

  
Ryo freed himself but Jin noticed the caution in his red eyes. The vampire decided to keep a safe distance, being closer to the picture, closer to the Kazuya on the painting with the newly added scar on his flesh.

  
“I don’t want to fight with you,” he finally said. “I’m just trying to understand why he chose you. Why you? We matched together perfectly. He could read mortal's minds and I can read the darkness of vampire's thoughts. We belonged to the same time. I knew him. Yet, he chose you?"

  
Ryo’s voice didn’t hold any hate but was just curious and maybe astonished, as if Jin was an interesting joke of his old friend that the vampire couldn't understand.

  
“Because he found it _amusing_?” Jin said bitterly. This question had pushed him to live day by day, also trying to understand why _him_? The red eyes looked like they were hiding a big secret that Jin would never find out. Kazuya used to look at Jin the same way .Jin hated it before and still hated it now.

  
“Maybe,” Ryo said thoughtfully, knowing how this explanation hurt. “Or maybe he saw _something else_ in you?”

  
“What?” Jin could feel that the red-eyed vampire knew a lot more than he was willing to show.

  
“Do you think that after finding out the truth you will feel happier?” Ryo ignored his question, changing the topic. This manner of the red-eyed vampire had irritated him when they had met for the first time and even now, it still made him see white.

  
“I don’t know.”

  
A smile played on Ryo’s lips, the same that always appeared in every kind of situation. Jin’s inner fight was so amusing for him. It reminded Jin of Kazuya, and it hurt.

  
“You know, Kazuya never searched for the answer to this question. _Why him?_ He knew it from the beginning.” Their glares crossed and hope grew in Jin’s heart. Maybe today, he would learn more about Kazuya.

  
“He just said that he never had a choice.” Jin’s eyes looked suspiciously at the other vampire who was still wearing the same strange smile on his face. He knew Kazuya long before Jin and he could understand things that would forever remain a riddle for Jin.

  
Ryo paused meaningfully for the effect before saying, “He was too beautiful to die.”

  
Jin must have known it from the beginning that Ryo was just entertaining himself by getting on his nerves.

  
It was so crucial. But Jin stayed hopeless under the red eyes, looking at the picture and knowing that he would never find out. It was the last picture, the last link, and even after all that way, Jin was left empty handed. It was the last one.

  
“Or maybe not the _last?_ ”

  
Jin looked at Ryo, hating his vampire’s power to read his mind when Jin still had no power. Or better said, his powers were more like a curse.

  
*

  
_Japan, 1910_

__  
They traveled by sea and by train. A strange disease seemed to be taking people’s lives but no one had any suspicions. Jin felt the strange numbness as if he couldn’t understand properly what was waiting for him. He would return to his home after so many years but what would that bring him? What kind of memories? Mari’s little hand was holding his and Jin saw the smile on her angelic face shining with excitement. She couldn’t wait to see the place where Jin was born, as a mortal and afterward, as a vampire.

  
The only thing she could talk and dream about was to find other vampires. She called them _“my own kind”_ and, with sadness, Jin understood that he had never been _“her kind.”_ Jin was different and this statement that he could clearly see in her eyes was like a wall standing between them, the same one that had been between him and Kazuya. Even without being here, they could feel his presence accompanying their every step.

  
When she was younger, Jin very often noticed that Mari’s thoughts and her worldview were more like Kazuya’s, but with every year, Jin realized that she was _less_ human than he was, than even Kazuya was, less human than either of them might have dreamed. There wasn’t even the faintest conception binding her to the sympathy of the human existence. She was a vampire in her heart and desire, bearing no guilt in her action, no repentance, nothing.

  
Jin still had so many questions about his existence and he hoped that they would find another vampire who could satisfy their craving for knowledge.

  
The first day that Jin spent on the soil of his motherland, he understood how everything had changed and that time hadn’t frozen in the same place. The people there were different now, they _knew_. Full of superstitions and fears, they whispered with disgust and horror the word _“vampires”_ and understood very well what kind of destructions and death vampires could bring to mortals. Jin must be very careful. People were looking suspiciously, asking why he was traveling with a little child _by night_.

  
The Kyoto that Jin knew had been burnt, and the new city greeted Jin as a _stranger_.

  
Jin had _dreams_. Vampires could see dreams and sometimes, the dreams could be so real. He dreamed about his brother and the smile on his face. He dreamed about his house and his childhood. An old feeling of warmth returned in his dreams, the feelings that he had lost while still being a mortal. The years he had lived and having time to think about his life made Jin understand that even in his own home, with his family around, he had always felt as a stranger. And even now in this world, he didn’t know if a place existed for him, for a person like him, somewhere, anywhere.

  
Jin dreamed about Kazuya and when he woke up, Mari was near. Looking at him with the brilliant blue eyes of the woman that understood everything _too well_ , she embraced him and kissed his cheek, whispering that she loved him and would always be near. Jin tried to forget Kazuya and erase him from his thoughts, dreams, _heart_ , but during the empty nights, all his thoughts were full of the memories of the blue-eyed cruel vampire, looking mockingly or amusingly at him and caressing him with his cold hands that had always burnt his skin. And sometimes, Jin found himself so vividly aware of him, as if he could feel Kazuya’s presence, his voice still hanging in the empty streets of the cities that they had passed through.

  
Some disturbing comfort existed in those emotions. He could, for example, still envision the white perfect face with luscious red lips, the way he sat in a big room, his head tilted to one side, alive and full of mischievous plans, instead of the way he had seen him the last time, drained to the point of death. A sickness rose in Jin, more wretched than anguish, when he understood what his dreams were doing to him, reminding him of the days that they had left in the past, the days it was impossible to return to.

  
Jin wanted to see Kazuya! He had been searching Europe for vampires, but the only one he had always had on his mind was _Kazuya_.

  
He still didn’t know exactly how he felt towards his creator. It was too complicated, all the emotions and now the guilt and the understanding of how unfair his actions were. Jin didn’t want to name the feelings in his heart, and only let the tears fall from his eyes, the tears that Mari always wiped away with her little hand.

  
They moved to Tokyo since nothing was holding Jin in his hometown, no one, and all the rumors about vampires were just rumors as they hadn’t met even one there, no matter how much they had searched.

  
By buying a house in the new capital of Japan and trying to start a new life, Jin felt alive for the first time since they had left Europe.

  
Jin had noticed certain changes in Mari, which made him once again aware of her being Kazuya’s daughter as well as his own. From Jin, she had learned the value of money, but from Kazuya she had inherited the passion for spending it, as well as her love for luxury and for comfort. She only wanted the best, and only high quality could satisfy her. She ordered models of European dresses for an adult woman, ignoring the customs of Japanese’s society, and the jewelry around her thin neck and pale wrist all belonged to a woman, not a child. Jin felt happy indulging her every desire, letting her have everything her heart asked for. The brilliant blue eyes looked content and that was all Jin needed to feel happy in that moment, _almost_. He could feel something was collecting in Mari, dissatisfaction and unpleasant feelings that were poisoning her life. She talked about the night Jin took her life everyday, reminding him of that day that was so painful for Jin and putting salt into his open wound.

  
“As much as I hated Kazuya, I feel like without him, we are incomplete,” she once said, her blue eyes looking piercingly at him, trying to catch the change of emotions on Jin’s face.

  
“No, it’s only you who are incomplete, because from your first day, you saw the two of us as different sides of yourself, helping you to make a choice.”

  
"Only me? Oh, really?" she asked with a smile on her childlike face with its plump cheeks. She bowed her head preventing Jin from seeing her eyes, which bothered him.

  
Her half smile and the gaze through her long eyelashes made Jin felt the long distance that had appeared between him and his child. Her little body, covered in expensive elegant fabrics looked so weird and out of place in woman clothes to Jin, but her blue eyes made all words die in his mouth. _“I’m not a doll,”_ they were screaming and Jin was scared, remembering the weak voice of his lover calling his name for help. _“You took my life. You are my father,”_ her eyes were whispering, binding Jin closer, not letting him go.

  
The streets of Tokyo were empty and Jin wandered alone, running away from _her_. The only thing he wanted now was to make Mari happy, but he knew he couldn’t. It was not in his power. _“She is suffering, she is unhappy,”_ the voice in his head was repeating over and over again. But it was interrupted by the sound of steps echoing his own steps. Jin froze and looked back, but the street was empty apart from the draught and lonely black cat, promising misfortune.

  
When Jin already decided to give up on his search for other vampires, vampires found him. One night the envelope with an invitation was waiting for him.

  
_“Vampire Theater. After midnight.”_

  
*

  
The big gothic house looked so strange in the traditional Japanese landscape, almost like a real castle with heavy iron gates and a high door encrusted with figures of little angels and devils. The man opened the door, bowed lightly and welcomed them to the house. Jin looked at the smile full of hospitality, the dark eyes and smooth face, the _vampire_. When their eyes met, the smile became wider and the eyes that were like holes welcomed them.

  
That was a theater full of vampires as actors and Jin and Mari weren’t the only ones who came to watch the spectacle. The others were mortals, curious to look around and full of anticipation to see the show. It was only possible to enter the theater by invitation and the soft rain in the street echoed with the murmur of the humans who were surrounding them, waiting curiously for the beginning of the action.

  
It was hard to suppress the nervousness that hit his body with tremors and anticipation at the same time. Meeting other vampires had always been a dream that was finally coming true and Jin hoped he would get all the answers he had been seeking for at last.

  
“They can read your thoughts if you let them, so be careful,” Jin whispered, holding the tiny hand. The only information he knew about vampires was the one that his creator had told him: they have powers. The heavy red curtain went up and the show started with the voice of a man wearing a white mask, hiding his face. The spectacle was a comedy in the beginning. The masked actors danced and joked on stage until a figure in black appeared and his white hand rose, _a vampire hand._

 __  
Jin was amused and surprised , observing how the vampires on stage were pretending that they were mortals playing vampires. A mischievous smile played on the lips of the storyteller and the next act started. Suddenly, a young woman went up to the stage, her skin smooth and pink, and her hair long. She was breathtakingly beautiful and _alive_. Her voice was soft and her big eyes were looking around in distress asking for someone to save her. When Jin understood what would come next on the stage, he squeezed Mari’s little hand, trying to suppress the disgusting feeling inside, the nausea that rose in his stomach going higher. They took the woman’s life on stage while pretending that this was just an act.

  
The scene was full of vampires, the long black clothes almost fully hiding their bodies, only the pale faces and the red lips were so bright under the lights. Jin saw the eyes full of anticipation waiting for blood and heard the trembling voice of the mortal who was trying to run from the hands that were touching her.

  
It was horrible to watch the agony of the victim, how the vampire was playing with her, hunting her on stage, knowing that she had no way to run away. It was disgusting in its cruelty. When the low voice that belonged to the new figure on stage said powerfully _“no more pain,”_ the young woman froze. Jin could see the crystal tears falling from her eyes before she closed them, as if she was succumbing and obeying the order, letting the vampire’s cold hands touch her warm body as their fangs searched for a place to bite. The smell of her blood soon spread across the theater and Jin tried to keep himself under control.

  
When the curtain fell, a thunderous ovation was heard. Jin couldn’t fight the feeling of having somebody watching him, and the aftertaste of the horrible act made him feel sick.

  
“Follow me,” Jin heard a voice nearby. A vampire’s dark fathomless eyes looked at him without any emotion. Jin felt uncomfortable. He hadn’t noticed his steps. As they walked through the long corridors of the big theater, Jin finally knew for sure that they were not alone.

  
Other vampires existed.

  
*

  
His face was smooth, without any wrinkle, the black eyes shining like two abysses that could clearly see what was going on into Jin’s heart. The luxurious armchair in the dark room reminded him of a vault. It was very confusing for Jin, how everything in this theater, even the clothes of the vampires and their spectacles, rejected the Japanese culture, pretending that they created a new Europe here, just for them.

  
“I’m the oldest vampire on the Earth,” he said and Jin swallowed, looking at his long dark hair. _Subaru_. That was his name.

  
Another vampire with blond hair, who looked younger came closer to Subaru and started caressing his hair with a slowly movement that made the oldest vampire sigh in pleasure.

  
“You came from another part of the world. This is the sign that vampires could have a new future. That we could return to Europe. Because here, it’s so hard to be who we are.”

  
Jin understood what he meant. People knew that vampires existed and the hunt became very difficult. They must always be careful or people would find out about their secret and use all their ignorance to destroy them.

  
Subaru’s voice sounded nice and his dark eyes were hypnotizing, but not the same way as Kazuya’s were. It was as if he could see what was boiling inside Jin’s chest and promising all the answers he was seeking for. It was so different from Kazuya. He looked like he wouldn’t play with him and Jin liked that, because he was tired from all those years of trying to catch even the slightest information, always bribing and fighting.

  
“Do you have the answers?” Jin’s voice resounded in the big dark gothic hall. The stone walls looked like a large burial vault.

  
“You have questions?” He raised an eyebrow and his hand covered the blond hair of the other vampire who closed his eyes, enjoying the touch. Jin tried not to look at the act of intimacy that belonged only to the two of them.

  
Another dark haired vampire that showed them the road was staying near, his eyes fixed on Mari, as if he found her amusing and interesting. _Yoko_ was his name and Jin didn’t like him, feeling the danger in these deceptive empty eyes.

  
“Who created us?” Jin finally asked.

  
A light smile appeared on the pale lips.

  
”I think you know it better than me.”

  
“I mean who was first, who created… this _evil_.” Jin felt how the little hand squeezed his fingers, but he couldn’t help himself. He must understand the reason for this life, the eternal life without any way to escape.

  
“I saw your eyes during the spectacle. You didn’t enjoy the show and felt sympathy for the girl. When you kill, you are dying yourself, but at the same time, it gives you pleasure and peace. Does that make you good or evil?”

  
The dark gaze was penetrating, as if he could see right into his heart, knowing about everything . Jin thought about Kazuya. Jin didn’t get the answers he was craving for, and the heavy thoughts were still lying on his shoulders, like an enormous burden. The only thought crossing his mind at the moment was: _“I made a mistake. I had no right to do that to him.”_ Had Jin had any reason to hate Kazuya? No, he hadn’t.

  
“What have you done?”

  
Suddenly, the voice of another vampire appeared from the corner. His eyes were almost red and the short black hair framed his face. His look was heavy, waiting. Jin understood that maybe he had the same power as Kazuya had, reading minds, but of the minds of vampires.

  
“Tell me the name of the one who created you.” he demanded.

  
“I want to forget this name and never mention it again.” Jin wished he could.

  
“Ryo, what’s wrong?” Subaru asked, maybe feeling the anger in the voice of the other vampire, but the latter didn’t answer and kept on looking at Jin.

  
“Do you know that only one crime exists between vampires : to kill another vampire, one of your kind?”

  
Jin heard the bell ringing in his head and panic rose in his heart: Mari was in danger. They must leave, but it was too late, Ryo _knew_ what they had done.

  
“Tell me his name!” The red-eyed vampire demanded, his voice screaming inside of Jin’s head. “She killed him. I need a name, who was your creator?”

  
“I want to forget,” Jin said as if the vampire would respect his will.

  
*

  
They lost peace, Jin and Mari, sitting in their home like prisoners, waiting for the time of the execution.

  
“I will protect you,” Jin repeated desperately, holding his child close to his heart.

  
“The danger makes us closer?” Her voice was trembling but the blue eyes looked the same as Kazuya’s, colder, like she knew how pointless all his attempts were.

  
“Not the danger, Mari! But love!” The little hope in his heart, he tried to cling to it and prayed to all the Gods to give him the strength to protect what was so dear to him.

  
“Love? Is that why all your dreams are only about Kazuya? Is that why you are still wearing this ring?”

  
Why was her voice so cold?

  
“That’s nothing.”

  
Jin also repeated it to himself, wanting to believe his own words.

  
“They want you to stay with them .They don’t need me.’

  
“Everything will be all right.”

  
Jin buried his nose in the curly gold hair, feeling anxious and scared. He must protect his child.

  
*

  
They were alone, sitting on the comfortable armchair. Jin believed Subaru, maybe because he was honest or maybe because he was so different from Kazuya. It was difficult to find the reason.

  
“I know that Mari is in danger but she is my child. Why?”

  
“Because she is too young and it’s forbidden to make a vampire from such a young child. They are too vulnerable and can’t’ survive alone.”

  
His dark eyes looked at Jin, so open and wise under the dim light of the candles on the table, his white hand holding a glass of blood.   
“I will leave with her!”

  
“You can’t,“ Subaru sighed softly, his eyes looking so sad and melancholy, as if this long road, the life of the being the most ancient vampire was a burden to him.

  
“You know, only a few vampires have stamina for immortality while others prefer to die at their own will because existence is unbearable for them. The world changes, but we don’t. There lies the irony that finally kills us. You need to make a contact with this age.”

  
“Me? Why me? I’m lost! I have no place and it’s always been like that in my life.” Always. Even the day he had met Kazuya, he had been lost in his own hell and nothing had changed.

  
“Your heart and your sensibility, this is the future of vampires. You are a vampire with a human heart, immortal but with all the passion and feelings of a mortal. You are beautiful.”

  
Jin stayed silent. The dark unreadable eyes that Jin couldn’t understand. Beautiful? The pain in his heart made him beautiful? Nonsense. He would give so much to erase the longing that ate him alive from his heart.   
As if he had been feeling his doubt, Subaru added, “This is your vampire’s power. You can feel. With years, vampires lose all the traces of mortality and humanity. But you are different.”

  
His power? To feel? The guilt, the fear, the anxiety, the impossibility of killing without dying inside? Was that his gift? Or was it his curse?

  
Subaru chuckled softly, his face without any emotions now reminded Jin of an expensive marble mask.

  
“Kazuya must have had so many problems with you.”

  
Jin stood on his feet, startled.

  
“You knew him? You knew Kazuya?”

  
“Yes. Who didn’t?” The sardonic grin appeared on Subaru’s face, exposing his fangs and Jin tried to understand what the blue-eyed vampire did to engrave his name in other vampire’s memories.

  
Jin felt that Subaru wouldn’t hide the truth from him the way Kazuya did, that Subaru would be honest. His eyes had a power, speaking with Jin without any words, asking him to stay and learn, to receive all the answers, because Subaru would be happy to share everything he had. His sad eyes looked even kindly.

  
Jin had been so naïve. _Again._

  
*

  
When the vampires came to his home and stole his child, Jin was terrified and shocked by the sudden attack, but they acted as an unstoppable wave, holding him and not giving him even a chance to resist or to fight back.

  
_“Vampires are all killers!”_

  
Kazuya’s words rang in his head as Jin fought like a wounded animal, trying to free himself from the hands of the vampires, so powerful and strong that all his attempts were pointless. Mari was calling for him, her little melodic voice full of fear and despair.

  
The red eyes were close and he heard a whisper, “The time for justice comes!”

  
The day of reckoning had come and Jin was too weak to save the only creature in this world that he loved. He was locked in a coffin, losing track of time, with fear tearing him apart, because Mari was defenseless. His child, with her big blues eyes and beautiful golden hair, like a magic doll in the cruel world of the dark monsters.

  
All that was left for Jin from his child were ashes and despair and loneliness. Nothing was the same again. Her voice would follow his every step, no matter how many years would pass.

  
There were only ashes, because the sun burned her and was Jin left alone in the whole world. Jin hated the vampire’s rules. He hated vampires. He hated everything about them. But most of all, he hated himself for his weakness. He hadn’t been able to save his child. He hadn’t been able to save Kazuya. The empty eyes of so many vampires were watching him, waiting and enjoying his suffering because he was the only vampire who could feel, who could suffer. But they forgot that besides his mortal’s feelings, he had another one, too. Hatred. The desire to destroy the one who caused pain to the only person in the world Jin cared about. His green eyes were burning with a fire that they couldn’t be tamed.

  
They wanted Jin and his sensibility to show them the way to a new future. Jin showed them this way: he went to the theater right before they had to wake up for another bloody spectacle, burning them all in fire, watching as the flame ate their flesh, listening to the screams of the vampires. Maybe he hadn’t had enough information, but he had heard the superstitions and when the vampires tried to run, he cut their heads.

  
That night many vampires died at Jin’s hands, paying for the crime they had committed, paying for the pain they had caused his child who it was impossible to return to life which Jin understood too well. There was this pain in his heart, this craving for vengeance and this desire to see them all suffering that drove his actions. That night, a part of Jin also died, the part that craved life, the part that craved blood, the part that made him _alive_.

  
He stayed outside, feeling the heavy drops of rain. The night was almost over and soon, the sun would rise, burning him the same way it had burned Mari. When Jin realized it, he tried to hide somewhere. But there was no place to hide, only the house embraced by fire and all the vampires inside.

  
A strong hand pulled him and the last thing Jin saw before he hid from the sun were the red eyes of his savior.

  
*

  
_Paris, 2000_

__  
The chase was pointless and Jin remained empty handed. _Again_. After, all those years of searching and the fake hints that Ryo gave him, he returned to the first point, to the night in Tokyo, after the horrible fire, when Ryo hid him in the cemetery, after he had seen Kazuya dance for the first time on the dusty painting that the red eyes vampire had hidden from everyone.

  
Jin was still confused about the bond that connected Kazuya and Ryo. He could feel the bitterness in the vampire’s words when he talked about Kazuya and at the same time, his curiosity. He played the same game Kazuya loved playing so much, pretending to have some secret information and toying with Jin, enjoying his anxiety, watching him search like a blind bird in cage, hitting the iron rods, fluttering his wings and receiving wound after wound.

  
The Oriental Express was ready to leave and Jin was alone in a dark carriage, preferring to sit without light. It was the new century but he still preferred trains, maybe feeling more comfortable and safe since he could escape at any second. Voyaging by trains could be longer but Jin had eternity and nowhere to hurry anyway.

  
The last hint that Ryo gave him took almost ten years, looking for the painting, tracing its migration from different collections and finally being able to see it in the Louvre. But what was that for? It still was an enigma to him.

  
Sometimes Jin thought that maybe Kazuya was still alive. But if he was, why had he never tried to find Jin? Maybe he found another object to entertain him, another toy? Why didn’t he even try to find Jin and take vengeance for his betrayal? _It hurts_ , Jin thought. After Mari’s death, the only hope that helped him to feel alive was the desire that bordered on obsession to understand the reasons that led Kazuya.

  
 _“Or maybe you want to prove to yourself that you were chosen for a reason, that you meant something”,_ said the voice inside his head, sounding like Kazuya. Jin could even feel the burning ice of the brilliant blue eyes on his skin.

  
The door flicked open and a man in a long coat and a dark fedora sat in the carriage in front of Jin. The darkness made it easier, as Jin would rather be silent. Random conversations with strangers didn’t give any pleasure to Jin and he never needed it, preferring to plunge deep in his thoughts and in his memories.

  
The familiar sound of the bell could be heard and the train started moving, leaving Paris behind and all of Jin’s hopes with it, because the last painting was there and Jin still had no answers. He now understood that maybe he wouldn’t have any at all. _Ever._

  
“I hope you don’t mind?” Jin heard the polite voice of the man who switched on the lamp near his table and took from his bag a notebook with a crayon.

  
“Not at all,” Jin answered with the same politeness, nodding. The stranger decided that if his fellow traveler was actually answering, they could spend time talking and make the road shorter. He took the crayon in his hands. The slate was sharp and when it touched the paper, Jin closed his eyes for a second, feeling like the sound was cutting his flesh.

  
“I’m an artist,” the man said showing him his notebook, but with an embarrassed look, as if his explanation was so silly because Jin could have figured it out by himself. He had nice features, at least from what Jin could see beyond the shadow of his fedora, which was hiding part of his face. But his voice was velvet and the fingers were moving very fast with the crayon, drawing.

  
“Paris is a wonderful city, very inspiring.”

  
Jin just nodded at these words. He had never been able to hold a simple conversation without feeling awkward. The man tried to be nice, but Jin felt weird looking at him and couldn’t understand what the source of his worry was.

  
“I went to Louvre yesterday,” he continued while his crayon was still moving fast, scratching the paper. “It’s wonderful. Have you been there?” he asked nonchalantly, not even looking at Jin, too engrossed in his own drawing.

  
“Yes, I have,” Jin answered, thinking about the last painting on his list.

  
“What do you like the most? Modern or classical art? Or maybe some particular paintings?” The man was eager and curious, a real person of art, Jin thought. While searching for the painting he needed, he met so many of them, people who could discuss the lights and the perspectives without pause for hours.

  
“The dancer in kimono,” Jin said. The crayon in the artist’s hand kept on moving.

  
“I saw it,” the man said. “This painting is full of mystery and legend.”

  
“Really?” Jin sounded interested, but he already knew almost all the rumors and all of them were absolutely not what he needed.

  
“Something about the young man dancing the last dance for the one he loved, before bidding farewell to his life. So dramatic. Art is full of love legends, right?“

  
The smile on the lips was the only part of the stranger face that Jin could see.

  
Jin had never heard about this legend and it left him with a strange feeling. Could it be possible? Kazuya loved someone? Bidding farewell to his life?

  
_“I’m going to give you the choice I’ve never had.”_

  
What if Kazuya had hated his eternal life? What if he had been asking for death but the vampire who made him didn’t let him die and made Kazuya hate the whole world, taking revenge for the opportunity he had lost, the opportunity to die?

  
Now the eyes of a stranger were on Jin’s face, shining in the darkness, so unnatural. _Inhuman_.

  
“He was too _beautiful_ to die. Like a piece of art that must be engraved in memories and shine for eternity.”

  
His hands were still moving with the crayon, drawing something, but his eyes were fixed on Jin’s face. That weird feeling that never left Jin from the moment stranger had entered the carriage, now Jin understood it, still confused at not having seen it from the beginning.

  
_Vampire._

__  
That was strange, that Jin didn’t recognize and feel his presence from the beginning. He must be a very powerful vampire.

  
Now Jin could see the picture that the vampire had just drew. He felt a strange knot in his stomach that became tighter. It was Kazuya, his hair waving as if the wind was playing with it , tears falling from his eyes.

  
The fingers of the vampire trailed the contours of the hair.

  
“They were so soft that day when I made him born again. “

  
He took off his fedora, showing his face. He was handsome. His long hair framed his face with right noble features breathing softness, but life taught Jin that vampires were like marble, not only their bodies but their hearts as well. They were empty. Was Kazuya’s creator any different? The traces he had left around the world immortalizing the last dance, the last moment before the agony, showed that his obsession was sick and that he was also sick.

  
“He had never asked for life. He was begging me to die. But I couldn’t indulge him. This is art and art must be alive. For eternity.”

  
The man’s thoughtful eyes looked at the drawing in his hand, caressing it, maybe lost too deep in his memories. His fingers ran lovingly over the drawn face, painfully familiar to Jin. He stayed silent, waiting.

  
“I thought he would be my soul mate, so beautiful in his heart and in every line of his flesh. I walked alone on the Earth since the 10th century and when I saw him dancing, I had only one desire: to paint him, always. To always see this beauty. But I was wrong.”

  
The vampire sighed heavily.

  
“I lost him, lost every trace of the sensibility that made him ready to sacrifice himself as a mortal. As a vampire, he became a heartless killer who killed fiercely everyday to take vengeance on me and on my decision to give him life for eternity. I loved him as a mortal, but that was a mistake.” The slender fingers caressed the face on the drawing, gently touching the cheek and the tear.

  
“You had no right,” Jin started, when the other man’s low laugh interrupted his indignant words.

  
“You think you had any right for anything?” The next second, the powerful vampire was so close that Jin could feel his breath on his neck. He knew that with only one fast move, he could be far from here, but the hand on his waist was very strong, marble-like.

  
“You reminded him of the ones that he loved and lost.” He heard the whisper. “Kazuya can be sentimental, too. ”

  
The next second Jin was alone, looking at the drawing, two words in the corner.

  
_Kimura Takuya_

__  
*

  
_Japan, 2012_

  
Life is like a road, yet sometimes, this road has no ending just the next turn and after that, another one and another, and you are walking all alone, without any purpose, with the same feeling of being lost and having no place in this big world, in the darkness.

  
_“Food has no taste and alcohol doesn’t let you find oblivion, no reason for any of it?”_

  
The sound of the familiar voice, so close as if Jin could see the brilliant blue eyes if he looked around. Nothing has changed; nothing has taste and joy for Jin. The blood, he takes it because he needs to live. What is he living for? He doesn’t know.

  
_“No more pain and another life that you can never imagine”_

__  
_Kazuya was such a liar_ , he thinks. The new life has brought new pain, new regrets, but now, it’s different, more bitter, and sometimes, unbearable in the darkness, in the depth of his soul. In this part, Kazuya said the truth. Jin had never imagined how fathomless this abyss was, how unstoppable his longing and uneasiness would be.

  
The last thread, the last clue that Jin holds in his hand, is a name.

  
_Kimura Takuya._

__  
A vampire and an artist that lived in 10th century, a famous and very talented painter, a child of the Heian Era.

  
Everything was so simple that Jin wanted to laugh when he found this name in the encyclopedia of art. All the paintings and sculptures that have been left by this painter are beautiful, but absolutely useless to Jin, revealing nothing about the mysterious dancer in kimono, dancing his last dance.

  
Sometimes, Jin thinks that maybe not finding the answers he needs is for the best. Will knowing the truth make him happier? He still remembers the red eyed vampire and the words he told him in the cemetery centuries ago.

  
_“Vampires can’t live alone. We need a partner, someone who will share the road of a lifetime with us. Vampires don’t understand the meaning of the word “Love” because we are living for eternity and the bond between us can be deeper than any high words. It has no end and no beginning. It’s eternal.”_

  
Jin still remembers how the red piercing eyes looked with attention, catching every change of emotions on his face.

  
_“Your feelings? Do you love your creator?”_

  
The question sounded more like a challenge from the vampire who looked at Jin like he was some kind of rare insect that must be examined. Because Jin can feel that the sensibility of his heart makes him different, unique, just like the feelings that he’s been hiding so deep inside, even from himself. As if he’s been reading his thoughts, Ryo’s known everything, could see everything, all the fears and weakness suppressed and hidden in the depth of his soul.

  
Maybe Jin saw the hatred of his cowardice in the red eyes or maybe, it was Jin who has despised it in himself, despising with all his might the part of himself that couldn’t accept the truth, that blamed everyone else but himself for years, decades, centuries.

  
Jin visited Paris and Venice, the houses where they lived together with Kazuya and Mari. It was overwhelming, thinking about the past, about the time when his heart had beat in a peaceful rhythm in harmony with himself, the time when Jin felt happy. It is impossible to return there.

  
Jin doesn’t miss Kazuya. He misses the place that the vampire held in his life. He misses the smile and the confidence. He misses the voice and the lips. He misses the touches and the hands that led him, showing him the road, because Jin is lost now. Once he understood that his thoughts were full of Kazuya and the feelings were spreading inside, making him _feel_ , feel for the first time after Mari’s death. And it isn’t hatred. It is something else that Jin doesn’t like at all.

  
And only with rushing from one place to another, as if he’s been running away from himself, Jin comes to the realization that he has nowhere to run anymore. He must face the reality. He must face all his fear and the truth that he’s been avoiding for centuries.

  
Only after decades, is Jin able to find the last clue, the last piece of his riddle, the one that gives a clear picture and helps him understand his creator and maybe, what he learns will just confuse him even more.

  
Jin enters the little village almost forgotten and ruined during the Warring States period, hidden in the heart of Japan. The people who live there are simple and calm and look friendly when Jin asks at midnight about a museum, the only existing museum in the village.

  
The plain house is almost ruined with only one wall still standing. The wall is a canvas for a painter who has depicted the last moment of someone else’s life, a moment of farewell, a moment of despair and a moment of tragic love.

  
Jin is enchanted by the colors that have faded with centuries. The letters in a corner say to Jin that he’s finally reached his destination.

  
_1582_

__  
The tragic date, the bloody date, the date when this wonderful piece of art was created. The whole wall where the beautiful dancer in a kimono is dancing is strange; Jin can see it really is his last dance. The pale face and dark eyes look so hopeless. The hand that is thrown back shows the fabric of a colorful embroidery, the gesture beautiful and poignant.

  
It is a story that is painted on this wall, very sad and tragic, a love story that has no future, a love story that must end. But because of the meddling of the beauty-addicted painter, this love is condemned to live for eternity, one-sided.   
He is dancing for the person he loves, looking at the figure in the corner with long dark hair and a sword in his hand. The sword falls from the hand that was once warm but became cold and lifeless as the plum lips became pale. The colors left his face but the dancer is still dancing with tears in his eyes, with his hair disheveled and falling on his exposed shoulders, desperately turning around as if he wants to catch the ghost of his lover as the little light of his life is fading away. The next picture shows the dancer’s profile and the drop of blood falling from his mouth, like a snake slowly and painfully stealing the life from his chest. The last scene shows the dancer make a last turn, almost falling on the breathless body of his lover.

  
Tears fall from Jin’s eyes when he understands that the dancer has never fallen because hands have caught him, hands that showed him another life, a life in darkness, stealing all the sensibility from him, all his innocence and all his feelings, leaving only ashes and a desire to burn the whole world with hatred. But it’s impossible to burn the whole world and with time, it becomes clear that the only way to live is to play, to make your life a big playing field where you prepare the perfect traps and enjoy watching how the others fall for them and suffer, because you’re suffering too, because you’ve once felt the pain too and lost everything, without having any choice at all.

  
The truth is too bitter to handle. The sunrise is so close yet Jin is still looking at the painting covering the wall of the plain house that once belonged to a dancer, the house where he’s lived peacefully dancing for his lover.   
_“You reminded him of the one that he loved and lost.”_

 __  
He thought that after he’d understood why _him_ , why Kazuya chose him, Jin would find peace, but the blue eyes of the vampire play a cruel joke on him, making him plunge deeper into his guilt, into the realization of what he has done, of his betrayal…

  
*

  
The sunrise is so close, Jin can feel it, but some insuperable power doesn’t let him leave. He can see the river from this place and the almost ruined wall that belongs to a museum now. This piece of stone conveys a life story. This is such an irony, how someone else’s life can be so exposed to strangers who can see easily how it ended.

  
But they can’t see the continuation, the part that Jin knows, the dark part that led the dancer to the point of meeting Jin and becoming a different person, with cold blue eyes and no respect for life.

  
“You miss me that much?”

  
Jin feels his presence before he hears the painfully familiar voice. He feels a strange flutter in his stomach and turns around to meet the blue eyes that have nothing in common with the tragic gaze of the dancer.

  
“And you didn’t at all, if it took you so long to find me?”

  
Jin hopes there is no bitterness in his voice and that his happiness is not so exposed, or maybe this devil can read him easily. Like he _always_ has.

  
“No big deal. I just need to follow the rats to find you.”

  
The same smooth proud profile and the line of his jaw that can’t be touched by the ages, the perfect shirt from the last fashion trend, with no traces of any sorrow; the same Kazuya who can’t be touched by fire, by time, by sorrow, by _anything_. The marble-like skin that can be cold or warm, but that the light of his content satisfied eyes shows of being rather warm at the moment. Jin wants to touch it, to feel it. Again. But the restriction in his heart holds him firm.

  
A soft chuckle leaves the defined lips which understand so well and enjoy the struggling of his favorite toy. Kazuya reaches his hand out to Jin with his palm up and for a moment, Jin looks confused.

  
“My ring, please,“ he demands impatiently but noticing Jin’s frozen gaze he adds, “or do you want to suffer eternally just by looking at it? You can still suffer the same way looking at me. This ring is so comfortable and I hope it’s as sharp as it was. I need it and…”

  
His scratchy voice and the words that flow at Jin wrap him in something warm and familiar and he can only proceed with the beginning of his speech before losing all focus, thinking only about one thing, while taking off the heavy ring with a skull and looking at how the other vampire wears it on his short finger.

  
_He is forgiven._

__  
The promise of his life from now on isn’t as terrifying as how Kazuya wants to make it sound. Jin is tired of fighting, of the loneliness, of wandering alone. He’s been punished enough. If Kazuya is staying in front of him without attempting to strangle Jin, that means the blue eyed vampire has decided that Jin has wandered in darkness alone for long enough and now, after so many years, he can finally find peace, if living together with Kazuya can be called a peaceful life.

  
“You’re thinking too much again with this annoying melancholic expression on your face, you fool! It’s not the end of the world and I doubt we will witness it anytime soon. So please Jin, relax!”

  
Jin blinks. Kazuya once again makes all his worries sound so stupid and pointless, rolling his eyes at his enormous suffering, as if Jin has wallowed in self-pity and other useless feelings that make Kazuya’s life more interesting, just so he can mock Jin.

  
“We must go, the sunrise is close.” Kazuya looks at the sky and then back at Jin with his expression showing that he is ready for nothing good. “Jin, I must confess, you charmed me with your style of dealing with things. Very impressive.”

  
Jin needs time to understand what Kazuya is talking about until he sees how the wall with the painting is embraced by the fire that will forever remove the truth about the dancer’s tragic story from the face of the Earth. And of course, Kazuya _must_ remind Jin about the worst day of Jin’s life, when he burned the Vampire’s theater, where he had lost Mari.

  
“She was a mistake,” Kazuya says, thoughtfully looking at the fire. “We could have been happy without her, she was my mistake. I’m sorry, Jin.”

  
Jin stays silent, looking at the fire and thinking about the child that he has lost, that _they_ have lost. He’s heard the concern in the now smooth voice, because Kazuya reads him so easily and can see the pain in Jin’s heart.

  
“Why did you burn it? It was _beautiful_!” Jin says, feeling Kazuya tense. Those years aren’t the worst now that Jin can pay him back with the same coin. He knows the weak point of his creator, something that makes him see white from anger.

  
“This kimono is old-fashioned. Only Ryo can look at it with big sad eyes because he is an idiot, and Takuya because he is so old that he has become senile.”

  
Jin smiles.

  
“Ryo saved my life.” He thinks that Kazuya should know.

  
“I know. He is too overprotective, caring about my future and testing my partner.”

  
Partner? Not a slave anymore? So it’s worth it to have burned the whole theater with the vampires after all…

  
They leave this place because the sunrise is close and because Jin can follow Kazuya’s steps, again. But something else bothers him, something very important to him, that he needs to make clear, for the sake of his heart peace.

  
“I’m not him,” Jin says lowly, but firmly.

  
“I know.” Kazuya doesn’t need an explanation. The burning wall holds the last traces of the face that looks so like Jin’s.

  
“Maybe we look alike but I’m different.” Jin hopes he doesn’t sound desperate.

  
“I know.” Kazuya raises his eyebrow, waiting.

  
“I love you.” Now, Jin sounds desperate.

  
“I know.” The brilliant blue eyes caress him with a warm radiance, spreading a wonderful feeling inside of him, and Jin doesn’t care whether it’s a spell or the curse. He’s been damned a long time ago and today, he wants to succumb, to plunge in it, willingly.

  
“What should we do now?”

  
Kazuya looks at the sky that will soon be covered with a color fatal for vampires and then, he finds Jin’s hand. Jin feels the lips touching his wrist, planting the kiss at the most tender and sensitive part of his skin. The brilliant blue eyes fall on him and the answer comes in a whisper, so close and so familiar, making him shiver.

  
“Live, until the sun burns down.”

  
When the sun rises and colors the sky with its warm strains, they are hidden from its beams, far away from its destructive reach.

  
All the bridges are burned and nothing is left from the past, just the memories in Jin’s heart, some moments that he won’t ever forget, but he doesn’t want to remember.

  
He looks at the sleeping vampire who embraced him tenderly in his sleep, in a place where the sun couldn’t penetrate.

  
Kazuya chose him, over and over again, for them to be together… until the sun burns down...


End file.
